Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 21, 2021

Not too late to say Black Mirror was the bomb.

Late for his own funeral. last time he’ll be late.

As the Irish saying. "May you be in Heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead "

He was late to his own funeral.

maybe they took a wrong turn in Albuquerque.

I’ve heard of someone being late to his own funeral, but I’ve never seen it before.

I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Better late than never? That depends on where you’re heading.

Death of a euphemism.

There are SOME things for which that doesn’t apply. Like getting to the train crossing before the 7:40 gets there…

It’s fate I’m late on my way to heavens gate.

Hey I’m caught in traffic. Start without me.

His mama always said “You’ll be late for your own funeral!”

Kinda think that this one falls on the funeral home.

My driving instructor used to say “It is better they say Mr. Bloggs is late than the late Mr. Bloggs”

You can tell they’re a bunch of oldsters. They’re looking at their watches, not their phones.

Widow: “Couldn’t afford a hearse, so Bob’s pallbearers are walking him over from the church.”

He may have planned his funeral this way. This might be his way of paying back all those people who made him wait for things in life.

The best way to find out who your best friends really are. Stage your funereal and see who shows up.

I’ve been told I’d be late to my own funeral. I say, I’m OK with that. :)

First funeral past daylight savings time. Those still using mechanical watches are victims of the missed “fall back”.

In this case I would prefer never over being late.

Late to your own funeral?? Oh, come on now!

Cell phones do tend to be more accurate.

They’re late for the after burial coffee and . . .

Wish you were here.

Well, isn’t he going to be “the late” whoever for the rest of time?

If they are waiting on me, I’m 84 and I hope they are there for a while.

The deceased must have been a veteran. They’re imitating joe biden.

As Rat (Pearl’s Before Swine) recently said, “Procrastination is the key to time management.”

I want to be late to my funeral. My wife and friends would understand.

Is it too late to get vaccinated?

I have always used the expression “they’ll be late for their own funeral” as a put-down, but maybe it’s not a bad thing after all.

When I got married, we did it as a piece of performance art, with lots of comic interludes. It began with the gride (my fiancee, dressed in a tuxedo), matron of honor, best man, and officiant walking up the aisle to the front of the assemblage and then spending the next 6-7 minutes fidgeting, looking off into space, and staring at their watches until the broom (me) put in an appearance in my splendid white wedding dress. It was supposed to be a play on the old trope about how I’d be late for my own funeral, but I figured I’d get it in while I could still enjoy the reaction.

Must be time for their morning nap.

My grandfather was late to his funeral, the hearse got lost going from the church to the cemetery.

ACTUAL GRAVESTONE IN MARTHA’S VINEYARD<MASSACHUSETTS

“A permanent resident at last”.

If he’s late, he may not really be late.

My mom didn’t even have a funeral. Caught the family by surprise

Late? They must be in grave condition….

Who would be so totally crass as to check there watch at a solemn moment like that.

his coffin is late for the funeral…

He is late for being late.

Not sure I get the joke.

Actually in this case, I’d rather be never than late.

Don’t hurry, don’t Worry.

It’s better to be late at the Golden Gate than to arrive in Hell on time.

A true procrastinator!

That will be my ex-wife’s funeral. She is late to everything, and I have told plenty of people that she will be late for her own funeral.

Whut?

Actress Elizabeth Taylor was famous for many things; her beauty, her multiple marriages, her jewelry, and—-her habit of not showing up on time for anything!She was aware of this, and so, made a provision in her will that at her funeral, her coffin would arrive about 30 minutes after the scheduled time for the funeral.Yes—two-time Oscar winner Elizabeth Taylor was intentionally late for her own funeral.Talk about a Hollywood ending…..