That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 02, 2021

“We won’t be able to pay the mortgage this month, Seabiscuit finished out of the money.”

The Hyde family gather to watch Grandpa read the racing stats.

As Laurie, Meg, Aunt March and Beth listen to Father read an excerpt from Jo’s novel, they each, independently, decide to sue for defamation.

“It appears Aunt Bessie left all her worldly goods to you two young ladies. Lizzie gets the calico cat, which is currently pregnant, and Julia gets one-eyed Lewey.”

I’ll be glad when my IPad gets fixed, they print these damn newspapers too small!

Grandpa planted his feet on the floor, / and, out loud, read the news from the war. / They all listened in dread / to the number of dead, / but they stayed for the details of gore. /// The Campaign to the Andamen Isles / was a saga of valor and trials. / Press reports, realistic, / of men, “cannibalistic,” / who were monstrous, but do it in style. Britain, 1867

The Jones family wondered what was so funny with these new so called “comics” in the paper all their friends were talking about. Even with such a good reader as Granpa.

Listen to this. It says here the government wants give us free stuff! We won’t have to work anymore or worry about anything. They’ve found a way to turn carbon dioxide into money.

“It say here Charles Green is going to do a painting of us sitting around watching me read the local newspaper.”

“I’ve checked the obits twice and your grandmother is not listed. I don’t know why she’s been standing there for three days, but she is not dead!”

Before video, groups would gather for erotic book readings

Nuthin’s more infernal than the Colonel with The Journal in the mor-or-or in’….

wait, have we already run out of crap by charles spencelayh…?

“What does that reporter know. It was only a few minutes long, but it was better than going to the theater.”

GUY IN THE DOORWAY: PSSSSSST! Maude! Drop the tea – and then your drawers – it’s our chance to be alone!

MAUDE: WHAT??? SPEAK UP!

GUY: Never mind. The moment has passed.

DAUGHTER: Father has such a dramatic flair when reading us the obituaries!

MAUDE: YE SAY PEARL DIED? SERVES THE OLD WHOOOR RIGHT!

It’s not instant anything, two years after the event.

The Smith girls, who had a thing for old rich men, paid rapt attention when Mr. Jones would come by to read the newspaper.

And in the last panel, Garfield says “I hate Mondays”. Heh heh.

Charlie reckons he’d best make his escape now … before his father comes to the part where Charlie has been named by the police as the primary suspect in this series of unfortunate and shocking incidents.

“Read faster Grandpa, I gotta pee.”

For a painter’s continuing fame; / picked by Melcher — he’s still in the game. / He’ll be butt of some jokes, / but it’s vital his folks / had agreed to choose “Charles” as his name.

When Sam Clemens read his family the first draft of “Tom Sawyer”, his cousin Wally turned red and left after the “whitewash the fence” section.

Everybody hated playing Mad Libs with Uncle Bruce, because of his penchant for having every verb be “fart”.

Grandpa reading the comments of yesterdays “That is Priceless”.

The greatest influence in the rise in the literacy rate was that Grandpa Joe was terrible at reading the comic to everybody else.

It got very few raves on first hearing – partly because very few people could hear it – except from the other orator that day who praised it highly.

“It’s a great big beautiful tomorrow …”

News from the War: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Charles_Green_-_News_from_the_war.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. Other versions has strip’s coloration cropped image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/09/masterpiece-2784.html 

I have added a comment there (already approved by Mr. Melcher) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2015/12/16?comments=visible 

has the prior (while my comment is still there, with the line breaks removed, its 14 hyperlinks remain mute, ?&@#!#%&!, but the text may be informative.).

Man: “Says here the Taliban are going to capture and rape all the women.”

Older woman: “I was once held captive and raped daily by a Taliban for three months.”

Young girl: “Oh my God, Granny. How awful for you!”

Older woman: “Yes, it’s terrible. He doesn’t write; he doesn’t call…”

Young Tom had not been present for the reading of last week’s installment of “Great Expectations.” Before beginning this week’s chapter, Grandpa thoughtfully gave him the option of leaving the room by shouting out, “Spoiler Alert!”

thier blind maid maryellen, started jasphene of a life of crime by pouring her bourbon instead of milk. Jasphene couldn’t handle it at first, then she got so good, that murder was not a big deal

All the women loved when Colonel Angus came around…

It was a close race as to who would finish first … Grandpa reading the paper; or the painter with the painting.

Hmmm … Interesting. His will does bequeath the Renoir painting to the women of the household.

And now I will read the comics?