Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 13, 2021

Unfortunately, sometimes wishes do come true.

Pig’s trying to use reverse psychology on a crazy world.

Traffic? Steve Winwood’ band?

Rat in the middle of TRAFFIC

Reverse jinx never works when you deliberately invoke it. Knock-on-wood has been shown to have a 5% positive influence on ill advised fate-taunting… but it’s better to avoid the taunting in the first place.

Uh… yeah

I look forward to the Mariners losing to the Red Sox!

I look forward to being inundated by all of the unsolicited Medicare helpline phone calls I get lately.

Let me have a try!!

Things I look forward to: Homework.

That will do it!

Never happen, Pig.

well, we got a lot of that traffic to spare so come get some. Heck, then you’ll be adding to all of it. Humbug.

Simply looking forward doesn’t help with Indian traffic…you need to look sideways backwards, downwards and occasionally, upwards, too! :D

Pig just don’t do it "Head On " ;-)

All the traffic lights turning red just before I approach them.

Pig using the reverse Uno card.

I can’t think of anything clever to say, so I’ll just say to have a nice day.

Does that work?

It’s the Slow Park of High Squeal Noise.

Today, I caught all green lights on my way to work. I’m still not sure how to feel about that.

Singing during the Rush Hour : Traffic, huh, good god y’all; what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again! …

Reverse jinxing only works on de crocs…maybe cats. Steve de goat

Low sparks and high heel boys

Pigs always in a jam!

People don’t know how lonely it can be to drive without any traffic for 50 to 100 miles. I invite you to Montana and see how many trips you are willing to take, before you start wondering, am I going to make it? If something happens, how long will I need to wait and be stranded. That is why it’s illegal not to pick up a hitch hiker in Montana. That and the winter weather we have, and the wild animals, like Ellen.

This will be the one and only day when life will grant your wish. Don’t ever ask again…

As I sit at a coffee shop in my small town of under 5k people, I envision thousands of frustrated drivers on the LA freeway…and I just smile.

Worth a shot my little porcine buddy.

I try this concept with my New Year’s resolutions. Every year I resolve to eat more donuts and drink more beer. No matter what actually happens, I am not disappointed.

A little something for air traffic controllers at places like Atlanta, Chicago, LA….

I think that cup is afraid of rat.

Won’t work, Pig. Same result, no matter what you write/do….

amen

One problem; you can wash your car and make it rain, but you can’t make it rain by washing your car.