That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 21, 2021

First he infected the staff, who in turn infected the guests.

Shucks father! You’ve gone and snorted my hygiene powder again.

Ms Lace Collar strong and able, with your elbows on the table…

Round the table you must go, you must go…

Is the wine that disgusting?

Grandpa got struck with food poisoning just as the bride made her speech.

pardon me while i barf at her comments…

“Are you kidding me Gunner? This is the moment you decide to capture!?! My dad blowing his nose during my toast!”

Though once one of the great financiers, / the bride’s song brought her father to tears. / Weeping didn’t diminish / as she got to the Finnish. / He is bankrupt and now in arrears. /// With much vodka he’d been fortified, / to put up a good front to the bride. / Into Hell he would sink. He / needed one final drink; he / saw no exit except suicide.

Turning her wedding toast into her baby-gender reveal caught her father and grandfather by surprise.

Later,the guests would repent/ the magical moments they’d spent/ with the bride and the groom/ in that rather small room/ at the super spreader event..

The bride’s joke was so risque, her father choked with laughter into his napkin

When she commented on the purity her white dress represented, her priest blew wine out of his nose.

“Well, she’s the last one”, thought Old Sven/ “I shan’t have to do this again !/ One daughter, or two, is plenty (thank you)/ but I’ve had to marry off ten !”

“My little girl- married at last !/ The pretty one went pretty fast..”/ Without further ado/ through his hankie he blew/ A celebratory blast..

We’ve seen this same artwork before/As mabrnt will soon tell us, I’m sure./When Steve Melcher repeats/His captioning feats/Do you think we should show him the door?

When the bride stood and sang us her song/And her pitch went so terribly wrong/Was Ogden Nash there/To ask, with great care/“How long is a song, Lord? How long?”

In the spirit of Hamlet, the Dane, / family intrigues drove Runo insane. / His child bride just revealed / what, ‘til now, she’d concealed. / She spoke harshly to him with disdain. /// His heart raced and he blubbered in pain. / Jumbled thoughts raced around in his brain. / Though not yet twenty-four / she’d been widowed before. / She would lace all their snuff with cocaine.

At his daughter Florence’s marriage to Mr. Jenkins, her singing interacted embarrassingly with Mr. Foster’s vestibular system.

“That’s quite a “honker” you have there."

Argo always grew uncontrollably sentimental whenever his daughter sang her late mother’s favorite song, “Violate Me, in the Violet Time.”

Stop crying Franciois, I’m doing this for your own good. According to your diet all you get for lunch today is one egg and one orange.

“So when the Priest ask the Nun “what’s a BJ”, she tells him…

$25 – SAME AS DOWNTOWN!"

(Old joke)

“Per Father’s wishes, I married my first cousin to keep it in the family. It was either him or Uncle Harold here – right Uncle Harold?”

Que Uncle Harold’s spit take

And now let me introduce our guest speaker for the evening – you all remember him – Sebastian Cabot, from the beloved TV classic, “Family Affair.”

Oh God, that was a rotten one. Who’s having the food poisoning?

“You put WHAT in the bread?!?!”

At the cue of the dinner gong/ the bride started singing her song/ she started her bit/ expecting a hit/ but she got the words all wrong.

The Bride’s Song: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gunnar_Berndtson_-_The_Bride%27s_Song_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting, including a Notes entry.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2015/09/masterpiece-1303.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here (4 times total, including 2 repeats of this, as a Throwback Tuesday, and again with a different caption). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2020/08/25?comments=visible 

has the other work (my comment there includes the artist info URLs also pointed to by here links in my blog entry comment).

Mike Pence is disgusted that this young lady is showing off her wrists. The HARLOT!

President Biden went all verklempt at today’s cabinet meeting when VP Harris expressed approval of ‘open borders.’ Having had a little too much wine, the President thought she said, “I love gropin’ hoarders.”

Molly “Nightingale” Ferguson had a singing voice so piercing, it was reportedly able to loosen blocked sinuses. When she performed onstage, theater vendor sales of handkerchiefs tripled.

Grandpa was the first one to breakdown and sob like a little girl in ten minutes. Who picked him in the pool?

zolabell, at the family dinner telling everyone how uncle harvy molested her for 8 years, untill he couldn’t “get it up” anymore.

I call it T’rowback Tuesday – along with Memorable Monday, Wookback Wednesday, Throwback Thursday, and Flashback Friday.

Ted Cruz dining in Cancun with fancy Big Lie bib.

How could she lose a one person food fight?

Well … it isn’t her singing voice that enticed him to marry her. She must have other exemplary skills.

Oh, you should have seen Ariadne at my bachelorette party! She was so wasted, she woke up mostly naked, except a garland headband; and didn’t know where she was!

Hector laughing into his serviette when Eloise does her old, “pull my finger” gag!

I’m sorry Mr. Dexter…I just can’t marry you or your money!