That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 30, 2021

“What do you mean I can’t park here because it’s loading and unloading zone? What do you think I intend to do with these people?”

Massimo sets off on his quest to break the Guinness World Record for crossing the Mediterranean on stilts.

Sure, it starts with a small boatload of Shriners. Next thing you know, there is a parade.

Don’t worry Da, I’m going to strike it rich in America. They have the NBA!

Hey! Before you sail off to Tahiti, / and desert your love child and your sweetie, / you must come back to shore / and scrub down this stone floor / to erase your defacing graffiti.

Yes, I’m Mr. Conehead, and I come from France.

The Albanian Olympic Men’s Basketball team finally arrives home from Tokyo after taking a wrong turn at Gibraltar!

“We come in peace from the Land of Disproportions. I’ll need two beds end to end, and my sister will need a crib.”

Massimo was always welcome on sailing trips (in case they need a new mast).

The ship’s captain (who’s also the mast), / viewed the figures ashore and, aghast, / saw his putative hosts / were, in fact, undead ghosts! / (Where they “stood” there were no shadows cast.)

Ahoy! I seem to have lost the other stick for my sail. Any chance you might have seen it.

Please do not judge J. P. Hackert’s art / from what’s here, which is just a small part / of a canvas with heft. / (This shows just lower left.) / View one tenth of the piece, à la carte.

“Sorry, but you’ve arrived a day early; Octoberfest doesn’t start until tomorrow!”

Another load of illegals….

“we come in search of a game of pickup…”

Alas, the local shops had nothing in his size which left him feeling stilted.

Ahab, once again, telling tall tales

Why is the guy standing on land floating up off the ground? Is he the Turkish Superman?

Sometimes you gotta go with a classic: “aboard and a good ship Venus /my God you should have seen us /the figurehead /was a whore in bed /and the mast was a petrified penis.” Etc.,etc…

You man, over there, yes, the one I am pointing at, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?

Le famille etait en retard / Et le bateau á fait son départ. / “Attendez pour nous!” / “Non, monsieur, je refuse / Le faut ne rest pas á mon part.”

Look, Helga, the breeding stock from Brobdingnag has arrived! Future generations will finally be able to reach the top of the refrigerator.

“I’ll be back soon, it’s just a three hour tour.”

Man-Mountain Massimo bids Mom & Dad farewell, as he heads off for his try-out with the Boston Celtics. ( He figures that if that Greek freak, Antetokounmpo, can be an NBA star, so can he! )

“Can you direct me to the NBA tryouts?”

We have anchor here for visits to rest rooms……quickly!

“Sure, he’s awkward, but he can find the best parking spots.”

MAN ASHORE: MY SON! How’ve you’ve grown! Exploration seems to have suited you!

SON: Well…not so much. It seems that the Spanish clergy is keen on two things – the rack and conversions. By the way, I’m not Greek Orthodox anymore…

View of the Small Marina of Sorrento: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jacob_philipp_hackert,_marina_piccola_di_sorrento,_1794,_firma.JPG 

has info and links that point to more info about this detail image (my guess is for the inscription) of the painting. The full painting’s URL can be accessed from the Summary’s inset image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/09/masterpiece-2799.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

He should sail off to Nopantsistan, and eschew his quest for this particular treasure

Sorry, this is the adults cruise. The Disney one will be here later…

“Torna Surriento!”, they cried as he sailed/ unaware that his hull’d been impaled./ and they sank in the harbor/ (within sight of an arbor !)/ though all of them rabidly bailed../// But may I report ( much elated)/ that to drowning the crew was not fated/ for Massimo’s height/ kept the wreckage in sight/ (His value can’t be overstated !)/// Now a statue of Massimo stands/ overlooking Sicilian sands/ – a testament to/ what Nature can do/ when She messes around with your glands..

“Well, you’re a tall one, aren’t you? It’s a good thing you’re not afraid of heights.”

“No, but I am terrified of widths. Please tell your wife to leave.”

no kidding

Thank you for auditioning to pose naked at our assembly. If we need someone of your … stature … we will contact you.

Before parking meter machines were invented, ‘Parking Meeter’ was a lucrative job.