Close to Home by John McPherson for October 13, 2021

I got quick service once with a bunch of young guys hanging around the desk by loudly saying “I’m the guy who called and thought he might have mumps!” They dispersed quickly.

I’ve found that an oozing head wound ensures prompt service.

He would still have to fill out forms. If he had half a mind he would leave!

Imagine the work he does on the stunt doubles.

I wanna make sure he’s in a good mood before he works on me. (Gee, that looks realistic!)

Sure he has the crazy mad makeup skillset, but does he need the ER to treat him whenever something goes wrong? ;/

Faking it….

Well the other option is just have your pal the President call the ER nurse.

…meh. Just another Tuesday in Chicago.

And it literally cost an arm and a leg…..

“I was trying to lobotomize myself. Something went wrong.”

Well apple blossoms and tasty possums! I would never have thought of a plan that clever to get prioritized at an Emergency Room…

… of course, I wouldn’t have worn those ugly pants either.

Steve Martin would be proud

It doesn’t matter. COVID-19 Volunteers get priority.

Aw, he’s just trying to get attention.

Ow! Leo takes several for the team.

That’s a nasty paper cut!!!!!!

Still looking for Po’Dawg :)

“Oh, this? No, this is just makeup! But for real: my elbow feels FUNNY. My elbow feels STRANGE.” (Get the reference?)

Tis but a scratch.

She’s actually coming out to ask him to wear a mask while waiting

Come on, that was a Steve Martin gag 40 years ago!