Monty by Jim Meddick for December 04, 2021

It’s just freaking detergent…..

Sticks and stones make break one’s bones, but exaggerated marketing bullsh-t will not get that stubborn stain out.

Stick with the “Old and Diminished” formula. Suits your stage in life better.

“Fresh clothes are overrated”, says Pig-Pen from the “Peanuts”

That was the reason I stopped using ‘Tide’. I have a fear of drowning.

Funny how marketing works; you can buy a ‘Black Warrior’ pencil to write a grocery list, or an ‘AK-47’ to decimate the neighborhood.

Evidently those jokes that we saw being shipped came from Kansas because this one is corny.

Obviously the jokes never made it to Monty, maybe Moondog traded them for some beer? Jokes about detergent, I don’t think so.

The vocabulary might more incisive than the cleaning power.

What’s it do to the bearings in your washer? Lordy!

New and Improved just means they’ve increased the price and decreased the container size.

Kills colors and fabrics.

https://www.theonion.com/bounty-scientists-scream-as-experimental-paper-towel-ab-1848156780

Is it the new Crimson Tide?

Does seem a bit violent.

Knowing Monty, it’s not safe in the cub bards!

Is that a Garfield joke?

Isn’t that the stuff they used in the Alien movies for the creatures’ blood?

The American public would rather buy a products that “obliterates stain with patented dirt destroying technology” than a product than “cleans effectively”. It’s just marketing.

Go on and use the powerful stuff, Monty! Be a man about it!