Rubes by Leigh Rubin for December 10, 2021

This one is not only mashed… he’s been mixed with cream and butter!

Of course he’s unrecognizable, no eyes, no skin, etc.

One time when I ordered fries at a restaurant the person at the counter told me they were out of fries, but that I could have a baked potato. I told them I would have the baked potato, but that I wanted it sliced into strips and fried rather than baked. And they did it.

Mmmmmm… Potatoes!

Oh, the humanity! Now, would someone pass the mashed potatoes, please? What..? Too soon?

with butter and catsup?

They’ll catch the killer and latke him up!

…and this one’s been garlicked as well.

Check his card. Maybe he wanted to be an eye donor.

Prime suspect? Sam Gamgee.

Check the bottle of gravy for fingerprints

Officer, go pick up Mrs. Potato Head. It’s always the wife.

But it’s going to be a lumpy dish since they forgot to mash the feet…

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew!

Don’t even get me started with curlie fries.

He was slowly and painfully riced. If it wasn’t for DNA we wouldn’t even know who he was.

Make sure to put cheese on em.

Should we take up a collection for all those orphaned Tater Tots?

The real sadists make " twice baked" potatoes. So evil!

Twice baked? Obviously a ‘dine’ of passion.

A mash potatoe killer on the loose.

So Brian Stelter have been shot?

bet it’s tough for those cops to keep their eyes peeled…