Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for December 15, 2021

That must be the long arm of the law.

Cooties are real

Scientific American once published an article “The Ecology of the Human Skin”. The scariest part was the magnified picture of an eyelash mite, the microscopic monster that lives in the eyelash follicles of a large percentage of humans. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

Look close enough and you will see we are all covered in hideous miniscule monsters.

I have a bug collection.

You’re so superficial. I got news for you. You know how you’re always hungry and eating but can’t seem to gain any weight? Ivermectin. It’s not just for Covid.

Found a dust bunny big enough to feed the other day. Don’t even want to think about bugs.

And now some of those microscopes would be powerful enough to see the cells on Wiz’s bugs…

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite ’em,

And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.

And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on;

While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.

— Augustus De Morgan, Siphonaptera, 1872

I’m thinking in Id, there is probably a lot more skin top livestock than in most places, but then again maybe they have better immunity.

We are their universe!

Horton hears a who!

The bugs must be thinking “ewww what’s this big bump with a wizard cap doing on my butt”?

Now I have the HEEBEEJEEBEES

Well bathing was uncommon in medieval Europe.

Today I learned: Wiz should bathe more often.

Once I went on an unattended death call. The poor old lady had fallen on the stairs and was lying on the landing with one leg up the stairs. We made the usual calls and while I was waiting in the M.E., the doorbell rang. It was the local priest. he said “someone told me Mrs. So-and-So died.” I said “yes, father.” He said “Where did they take her?” I cocked a thumb over my shoulder and said “She’s right there-” He exclaimed “GOOD LORD!” I replied “Good one, is that how they teach you to say ‘Oh SHlT!’ in the seminary?”

At the end of Horton Hears a Who, Doctor Whovee, in the miniature world. hears a “who” on the speck floating in his laboratory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiQxHyi-1tw

Scabies was pretty prevalent back then.