These are times that, if you don’t laugh, you’ll have to cry. Though terrible things are happening halfway around the world, we can choose to make light of our enemies, or those who would be our enemies:
A minor commissar is talking with Vladimir Putin. “Comrade Putin,” he asks, “word on the street is that you have no sense of humor. Is that true?”
“On the contrary, Comrade Commissar, I have an excellent sense of humor. Why, I even collect jokes about myself!”
Ah, yes, the dynamic interplay between husbands and wives.
A husband and wife lay in bed watching tv together. With the remote in his hand, the husband continuously flicks between 2 channels. One features men fishing while the other contains a lot of sex scenes.
After watching one channel for about a minute, he flicks back to the other. The wife, who is now annoyed with his indecisiveness, demands that he just choose one show and watch it.
But, no.
click… click…
She’s had enough and tells him “for gods sake, choose! Better yet, just leave it on this channel and don’t flick back. You already know how to fish!”
Husband and wife are in bed and the husband starts touching his wife with amorous intentions. She stops him and says even though she wants to, she can’t tonight.
“Why not?” asks the husband.
“Because I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be nice and fresh” she replies.
“All right” says the husband. He sits there for a moment and then asks:
“Well you aren’t going to the dentist tomorrow are you?”
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, “Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly bear droppings leave the area immediately.”
“So how do we know if they’re grizzly bear droppings?” asks one of the ramblers.
“It’s easy,” replies the ranger. “They’re full of small bells.”
eromlig over 2 years ago
These are times that, if you don’t laugh, you’ll have to cry. Though terrible things are happening halfway around the world, we can choose to make light of our enemies, or those who would be our enemies:
A minor commissar is talking with Vladimir Putin. “Comrade Putin,” he asks, “word on the street is that you have no sense of humor. Is that true?”
“On the contrary, Comrade Commissar, I have an excellent sense of humor. Why, I even collect jokes about myself!”
“Really, Comrade?”
“Really, Comrade.”
“How many do you have?”
“Enough to completely fill two gulags.”
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Ah, yes, the dynamic interplay between husbands and wives.
A husband and wife lay in bed watching tv together. With the remote in his hand, the husband continuously flicks between 2 channels. One features men fishing while the other contains a lot of sex scenes.
After watching one channel for about a minute, he flicks back to the other. The wife, who is now annoyed with his indecisiveness, demands that he just choose one show and watch it.
But, no.
click… click…
She’s had enough and tells him “for gods sake, choose! Better yet, just leave it on this channel and don’t flick back. You already know how to fish!”
Until next time.
boniface22 over 2 years ago
Here’s a Believe It Or Not for you: the USA still uses Fahrenheit to measure temperature.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Steve asked for soon.
Husband and wife are in bed and the husband starts touching his wife with amorous intentions. She stops him and says even though she wants to, she can’t tonight.
“Why not?” asks the husband.
“Because I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be nice and fresh” she replies.
“All right” says the husband. He sits there for a moment and then asks:
“Well you aren’t going to the dentist tomorrow are you?”
Until the next next time.
Copy-&-Paste over 2 years ago
Go ahead, Blame the Greenhouse effect of Venue on Humans!!
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
So her blue jeans surely caught fire. ~ Jimmy Clanton
Take care, may Sha Na Na concert weeper Billy “They Don’t Make ’Em Like They Used To!” Alkord be with you, and gesundheit.
Gameguy49 Premium Member over 2 years ago
In Alaska, Kodiaks come close. Kodiak bears are the largest bears in the world. A large male can stand over 10’ tall when on his hind legs.
mindjob over 2 years ago
I wonder if chilled iguana tastes like chilled monkey brain, made popular in the Indiana Jones films
FassEddie over 2 years ago
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, “Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly bear droppings leave the area immediately.”
“So how do we know if they’re grizzly bear droppings?” asks one of the ramblers.
“It’s easy,” replies the ranger. “They’re full of small bells.”
God particle over 2 years ago
So that is why they keep the thermostat up so high in my building, WE’RE GOING TO VENUS!
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
“I’m your Venus, I”m your Fire …
jamesbaird1572 over 2 years ago
There is a mounted Kodiak bear at the Field Museum in Chicago that stands over 10 feet tall. it is impressive.
Pedmar Premium Member over 2 years ago
Ah, but Venus is on the metric system, so it should be 427.
Copy-&-Paste over 2 years ago
Goodbye Daylight Saving!