The ongoing situation in Ukraine means it’s still open season for Russian jokes.
An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a small plane. The American gets up, goes to the window (it’s not that small of a plane) pulls a wad of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.
“In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away.”
The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.
“In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!”
The Ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, and throws him out the window.
Eromlig didn’t bash the Russians yesterday, so I guess I have to take up the mantle instead.
At the early WW2, the Russian forces were on the defensive. Then one Friday, young Igor triumphantly came driving back to camp in a captured German tank. Igor was wildly celebrated, and awarded with the weekend off.
Then the next Friday, Igor again brought a new tank home! Everyone was wildly extatic, and asked how he did it, but Igor refused to tell. During the next weeks, every Friday, Igor would capture a new German tank, get the weekend off and a truckload of medals, but he still kept how he did it a closely guarded secret.
Igor, Hero of the Soviet Union, survived the war, and became an old man, but necer revealed his secret, until one day he was on his deathbed and his children again asked him, ‘Dad, you have to tell us how you captured all those German tanks!’
Igor concidered this for a while, before slowly speaking: ‘Well, I can no longer be sent to the Gulag, so I guess I can tell you. I drove around in my own tak, until I found a German soldier driving around in his. Then I asked him “Hey, Comrade! How would you like to have the celebration, a medal, and the weekend off?”’
Google is quick to tell me Mozart composed over 600 pieces in life. Dang it, Salieri! You distracted him! (He didn’t, of course, but it made for a good story.)
There’s a rumor of a petition for Sara Blakely to be a naked shark just once.
Take care, may proud male chauvinist sexist pig Andrew “Dice Only Because Mom Had A Cold When She Suggested I Be Known As Nice” Clayord be with you, and gesundheit.
unfinished melodies – sins of the fathers – ???when was it hatched, how long before being caught, did they release it after being tagged? I know 1 liners are the thing for this strip – but how do the fisherman know that it was 3 years old, etc. etc. etc. – another NOT! at least until more facts are given. just me being me.
I’d like to think archeologists and recovery experts from America swarmed over Japan.Returning the remains of“lost soldiers” home can be done these days with modern techniques.
Another sad fact about Mozart—of his six children,4 died in infancy.
Maybe if Mozart had used musical notes instead of punctuation marks, he would have finished some of them. And I will be having nightmares about that shark!
A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says “I’m sure it’s none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?”
The guy says “There’s a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he’s still there if you hurry.”
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says “You didn’t tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
The guy says, “Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?”
One of Mozart’s abilities was his talent for creating alliterations instantly on any piece before him. But, when you have new segments of a composition coming out of your head constantly, when do you get around to finishing any composition. He needed a musical editor to pull together these alliterations into a workable composition. Perhaps his wife had that role in their life together. I’ve heard of a similar relationship between William Shakespeare and his wife.
monkeysky over 2 years ago
This has got to be the strangest successful mutant I’ve ever heard of: https://www.livescience.com/naked-skinless-shark-mediterranean-sea.html
pearlsbs over 2 years ago
How many compositions did WAM finish in the last ten years of his life?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
The ongoing situation in Ukraine means it’s still open season for Russian jokes.
An American, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are flying together in a small plane. The American gets up, goes to the window (it’s not that small of a plane) pulls a wad of money out of his pocket, and throws it out the window.
“In America, we have plenty of money. We can just throw it away.”
The Russian, not to be outdone, rummages in his carry-on bag, pulls out a beautiful fur coat, and throws it out the window.
“In Russia, we have plenty of furs. We can just throw them away!”
The Ukrainian gets up, picks up the Russian, and throws him out the window.
“In Ukraine, we have plenty of Russians!”
Until next time.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
So what did the Tokyoites do with the Iwo Jima shipwrecks? Scrap the metal for some extra yen?
RLG Premium Member over 2 years ago
Eromlig didn’t bash the Russians yesterday, so I guess I have to take up the mantle instead.
At the early WW2, the Russian forces were on the defensive. Then one Friday, young Igor triumphantly came driving back to camp in a captured German tank. Igor was wildly celebrated, and awarded with the weekend off.
Then the next Friday, Igor again brought a new tank home! Everyone was wildly extatic, and asked how he did it, but Igor refused to tell. During the next weeks, every Friday, Igor would capture a new German tank, get the weekend off and a truckload of medals, but he still kept how he did it a closely guarded secret.
Igor, Hero of the Soviet Union, survived the war, and became an old man, but necer revealed his secret, until one day he was on his deathbed and his children again asked him, ‘Dad, you have to tell us how you captured all those German tanks!’
Igor concidered this for a while, before slowly speaking: ‘Well, I can no longer be sent to the Gulag, so I guess I can tell you. I drove around in my own tak, until I found a German soldier driving around in his. Then I asked him “Hey, Comrade! How would you like to have the celebration, a medal, and the weekend off?”’
Caldonia over 2 years ago
Google is quick to tell me Mozart composed over 600 pieces in life. Dang it, Salieri! You distracted him! (He didn’t, of course, but it made for a good story.)
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
Not even a HINT as to how this shark ended up skinless and toothless.
Lafsalot over 2 years ago
I’ve done better than Mozart! I’ve created millions of un-started compositions.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
There’s a rumor of a petition for Sara Blakely to be a naked shark just once.
Take care, may proud male chauvinist sexist pig Andrew “Dice Only Because Mom Had A Cold When She Suggested I Be Known As Nice” Clayord be with you, and gesundheit.
Saddenedby Premium Member over 2 years ago
unfinished melodies – sins of the fathers – ???when was it hatched, how long before being caught, did they release it after being tagged? I know 1 liners are the thing for this strip – but how do the fisherman know that it was 3 years old, etc. etc. etc. – another NOT! at least until more facts are given. just me being me.
JoshHere over 2 years ago
This mutant shark superpower sucks
198.23.5.11 over 2 years ago
I’d like to think archeologists and recovery experts from America swarmed over Japan.Returning the remains of“lost soldiers” home can be done these days with modern techniques.
Another sad fact about Mozart—of his six children,4 died in infancy.
dv1093 over 2 years ago
Although he was a prolific composer, during the last 30 years of his life, Jean Sibelius did not compose a note.
I wonder if those ships were Japanese or American – or both?
artegal over 2 years ago
Maybe if Mozart had used musical notes instead of punctuation marks, he would have finished some of them. And I will be having nightmares about that shark!
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
I’m hoping to match Mozart with 100 uncompleted books which I started to read but never finished…
FassEddie over 2 years ago
A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.
The bartender says “I’m sure it’s none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?”
The guy says “There’s a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he’s still there if you hurry.”
The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says “You didn’t tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
The guy says, “Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?”
Nicole ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member over 2 years ago
Naked Shark – Article with photos (NSFW…just kidding) https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/shark-without-skin-teeth-sardinia-coast-a4534776.html
preacherman Premium Member over 2 years ago
One of Mozart’s abilities was his talent for creating alliterations instantly on any piece before him. But, when you have new segments of a composition coming out of your head constantly, when do you get around to finishing any composition. He needed a musical editor to pull together these alliterations into a workable composition. Perhaps his wife had that role in their life together. I’ve heard of a similar relationship between William Shakespeare and his wife.
John9 over 2 years ago
I think maybe Mozart had either dementia or A D D, Not completing tasks is a
rdh71254 over 2 years ago
OK, so we have the theme for the next “Sharknado”: Skinless, Toothless, Zombie sharks. My heart is thumping in anticipation.
Bilan over 2 years ago
How did those shipwrecks at Iwo Jima float to the top? Aren’t they made of metal?
markhughw over 2 years ago
The tremors also bought up Godzilla versus King Kong!
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Speaking of earthquakes, there was a 7.3 quake in Japan today. More surfacing shipwrecks from WWII?
https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/japan-earthquake-injuries-2011-disaster-nuclear-power-plants-power-outages/1157789
heathcliff2 over 2 years ago
Maybe by now Mozart has finished those compositions.
pbr50138 over 2 years ago
The Battle for Iwo Jima ended on March 26, 1945.
WDD over 2 years ago
Amazing. Mozart outdid Franz Schubert 100 times over.