Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 05, 2022

Tall straw hat with yellow band and curled bristle twist?

Now that you’ve found it, can we set fire to it?

I remember “stoppointingatthings”. Does this hat hide a vibrating toupée?

I wonder if the feather’s curl makes it more stylish. Maybe a straight feather was so-last-year. This hatted cool cat was no doubt the most stylish poser in his neighborhood. He looks like he’d be envious of any man with a longer or curlier feather. Some men’s egos are tied to measurements. Me, for example, I get all crazy if someone else has bluer skin.

The Cadillac of hats.

The envy of men across the planet.

I lost it and went haywire in my brains circuits.

They torn down the parking lot and put hat and coat trees.

Rock out and tip the help.

Who knew that Dan Blocker could be so stylish?

lucky you!

The stolen hat from a purple umbrella and a fifty cent hat?

Style was dead. It was a particularly gruesome murder. We had the perp, and the motive, everything we needed to close the case, except the weapon. And then, it caught my eye. Just a glint where something was, where nothing should be.

…now, that’s a real feather in his cap…

…this pointing finger thing is getting out of hand…

…though that is a very nice hat…

…Curious, George, looked at the man in the yellow hat and using the punch line from a very old joke, poked him in the arm repeatedly, saying…

…Don’t I know you?…

…

…monkeys are fun until they chew your nose off…

…so coke the monkey….

…shock the monkey…

…stuff him in the barrel with rest of the monkeys…

…and roll out the barrel…

…‘cuz she’s too fat for me…

…FA 95.. Your local country station …

…playing all the angles..

…this side of the Big Muddy….

The fedora with a tail feather…..?

((((((((((((((Shake))))))))))) your tail feather ..?

But WAIT!

Buy one get one for half price, just pay the extra shipping….$19.94 Just three monthly payments…..

Instructions:

Let hat rest to room temperature for 24 hours

Approach it slowly, ……..with a hammer….

If it moves and or rattles, HIT it! HIT IT HARD!

When the tail falls off , it’s safe to wear your brand new fedora!

Enjoy!

Where’s the pimp mobile?

Sadly that’s not a Dodie Stevens level hat.

Make fun if you will of my genuine reproduction of an authentic replica of an imitation faux Fedora, but I shall wear it proudly, despite the snickering and titters of the fashion ignorant and envious!

“Once you have found it, never let it go …!”

(With apologies to Richard Rodgers. You know, “Some Enchanted Evening” from “South Pacific” is one of the songs that makes onscreen musicals a very poor second to seeing them on stage.)

Yikes, another stuck finger activated by a hat … Handemic? Or Hatdemic? Maybe Hat-in-Handemic …!

( FA 2022/03/01 … I’ll just OOF! myself now)

It. What it was. What it is. What it shall be. To wit, it. Itty bitty or itty biggy. It will be fine. It will be alright. It may be disastrous. It may be funny. Get to it! Get it on! Get it while you can. Point it out. There it is! It came, it saw, it conquered. It is all there is. It is what it is. Who’s it? Your it. It can’t be! I don’t like it. I love it! Do you get it? Name it. It is lame.

You may have found it but Pat and Vanna are still in stitches.

https://tinyurl.com/FROGDOXXED (Truly not worth clicking.)

And a shout out & big hello to Viola!

Oh I don’t want it, you can have it! Much too gauche for me. Much too gauche, much too gauche, much too gauche for me!

As hats go, on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being best), that Thing is about a 2! Yellow band on yellow straw, with a scrawny twisted feather? Even Yankee Doodle wouldn’t wear that! It’s a Yangtze Noodle, for goodness sake!

Twisted Sister in the Capland of hats. Hey, if the hat of hey fits, wear it.