Close to Home by John McPherson for April 24, 2022

No one likes air dryers

A new meaning to digital waste.

BYOTP.

A port-a-bidet?

Wipe left while you swipe right! sorry, no app for that!

Use the “THREE SHELLS” (Demolition Man reference). ;D

He’ll have to sneak out of there and try and find an old pine cone to use !

Right up there with Disney!

Maybe……………..the “three sea shells”?

Bleeb says heck with that, I’ll just go all natural “behind the Johns”

why did nt they use the sea shells (see demolition man)

Out of air freshener, too?

Moved into new offices, no TP in the restrooms!!!! I brought in my own roll.

Moving right along…..Ew

Once made an emergency visit to the stall in the local movie theater. When done I looked at the dispenser and it was empty. In my dismay I said something like “oh, crap” out loud. A disembodied hand with a wad of paper appeared under the partition separating the stalls.

I saw a cartoon once that showed a waterless hand washer. You put your hand in the machine, a hammer banged your fingers, you put your fingers in your mouth to ease the pain – you will have the picture in your head all day.

“Welp, looks like I’ll be wearin’ one sock the rest of the day!”

Bidets? Baby wipes?

Prepare to decorate the undies with a brown stripe.

Don’t give California politicians any ideas.

Maybe they could put on a play with So-and-So. https://youtu.be/ygMF-YYCdi8?t=87

Bring your own paper. I have been in a few of those. …ick

Bidets?

What a bunch of paluka’s?

Glad to see he’s doing well. I remember when he didn’t have a pot to p…. in.

Save a tree, poodle scoot on the grass.

There are laptops in the port-a-johns. Just use the bottom…

Someone stole Joe’s next idea.

And nary a leaf around.

Leaves work, but be careful your not allergic…

At least they should add bidets, but that would involve a water tank and pressure pump.

That’s OK if it has a bidet.

It’s just a passing fad.

Anybody out there have five ones for a five?

When they’re working, they send people back in time to when they didn’t have to go. Not that that really works…