That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 16, 2022

Martha hid behind the sheet because she didn’t want the neighbors to see her gossiping with the blackbird.

/// Laundress startled by blackbird’s shrill tweet,

wraps herself, head to toe, in a sheet.

True, she fears being pecked,

but, to be more direct,

she’s afraid that the bird is in heat.

“Look, I told you to never bother me at work. If anybody finds out I can talk to animals I’ll be slaving away for Disney for the rest of my life.”

“Hey Lady, I want a double handful of birdseed, and snap to it, or I’ll crap on the sheets.”

Well, you’re not the Bluebird of Happiness that’s for sure. So stop crapping on my sheets!

“Are you certain I can go to a magical world if I just wrap myself in this sheet?” “Hey, Lucy, have I ever steered you wrong before? Just wrap it tight and wait for the bright light.” The blackbird was convinced that he could get this idiot fired in record time. Maybe next time they would hire a looker.

“If I wrap myself up, maybe Miss Gossip will think I’m not home and go away.”

The joke works better if you say that she is scared sheetless… and from her look, maybe also scared sh*tless…

“Ah ha! I’ve tricked you. You, my flea infested friend shall be number 24 of the blackbirds I bake in a pie. Of course nobody really does that anymore, but the old bugger I do laundry for keeps going on and on ‘bout six pence you know. Six pence this and six pence that. So it’s in the pie with you and a well placed pie in the bugger.”

Done with those drapes at last! Now , I just have to buy me one window, four walls and some sort of roofing and I’ll have one mansion to put Kardashian’s to shame faster than you can blink!

All day on that sheet she’s been slavin’/

Now here comes this goddamn raven !/

He’s perched on the sheet/

And he’s poised to excrete/

And it looks like she’s right back to lavin’///

There may yet still be time for savin’/

The sheet from the sh*t of the raven/

But probably not/

are not very good at behavin’.

When pigs fly…

Kathy was having issues with her first attempt at putting up a tent

The initial version of the porta-potty was less inviting than the bush it was intended to replace.

Not even 8 in the morning, and she’s already one sheet to the wind.

it’s crazy, i know, but this is actually what alice likes to do on her days off from the brady bunch…

As thick evil oozed down from the cloud / And the terrified moon cried aloud / And the split sky went black / With an echoing crack/ Was she wrapped in a sheet — or a shroud?

Patty was sure that once she perfected her portable shower she would make a fortune from pilgrimages.

Mr. Bird, hide in here with me, the Martians won’t be able to see us. Drat, I left my foil hat inside!

“Well…I’m not going to hold this forever. Get some more close pins.”

“Yes sir, right away sir.”

Tippi Hedren in the original low-budget version of The Birds.

As she entered the changing tent to put on her swimwear, a mockingbird stated its opinion, loudly.

Scott’s Woman Practicing Her Standup Routine On Makeshift Stage

1) Why is she standing on her laundry? 2) Unrealistically TINY feet.

“I shall now wrap myself in this sheet and disappear!”

Okay, I forgot to feed you…I get it!

That was the moment when her beau realized how literal Flo was — that he was going to have to spell out what he meant by “Meet me under the sheets”.

“Come on, lady. Do you really need both of your eyeballs?”

Auntie Emma emerges from her chrysalis.

Emily was upset when someone gave her the bird.

Laundress Startled by a Blackbird: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:John Scott (1850-1919) - Laundress Startled by a Blackbird - 1987P61 - Birmingham Museums Trust.jpg" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first File: link found for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2926 (May 15, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) correcting the artist, and pointing to some info about that artist. First work by him used here.

Actually, that blackbird is Henry VII’s Royal Plastic Surgeon, who specializes in rhinotomies.

Get lost. We’re playing hide and seek.

Jazmine was setting up Curtin to show the townsfolk her wedding pictures, but the little birdies had different plans, he had already seen them.

/// “Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder.”

Men she liked gave the maid the cold shoulder.

Used a sheet to enfold her,

which had sometimes consoled her.

Why’d she do it? A little bird told her.

You’re early! I’m just now setting up the sheet as a backdrop. Come back at 8. That’s when the dinner and a movie starts.

Why worry about the bird; she’s standing on the flippin’ sheet!