Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for October 24, 2022

not till you mix it with something …. ask Snoop – he knows better

Hope nobody’s using the bathroom when she’s got the urge to get relieve herself of some of that coffee she’s swilling.

Bean there, dumb that.

If I were to hit 12, believe me I wouldn’t be happy and neither would anyone in my immediate vicinity.

Auntie, you’re confused! It’s glasses of wine!!!

I’d vibrate after one. Twelve would send me into Afib, and it’s not nice to fib.

Twelve cups of coffee in the space of a few hours would soon cause a guy to blast a hole through the urinal. The youthful Superboy probably had to learn to control himself in this regard.

Aunty is taking the caffeinated challenge.

I used to drink 12 cups a day. A doctor friend stated that it probably caused heart arrhythmias. So we did a test. I abstained from all caffeine for 24 hours and dragged myself to the hospital where he took my vital signs and hooked me up to an EKG machine.

He got some reptilian readings and normal sinus rhythm on the EKG.

Then I had a cup of coffee waited 10 minutes and we tried it again. We got more human-like readings for the vital signs and normal sinus rhythm.

After cup number 2, everything was normal including the EKG.

So on and so on for 12 cups.

In the process, I went tot the bathroom about 12 times.

There were no irregularities.

His conclusion was: that for ME coffee does not cause heart arrhythmias and as a secondary diagnosis – the probability of my getting a urinary infection was low.

Reducing the number of trips to the bathroom is why I limit my consumption

How does that statement even make sense?

Put down the mass-produced coffees, Aunty, and go with high-octane boutique coffees. They may be more expensive, but you get your caffeine fix on a lot less coffee.

Tried Irish Coffees ? Worth a shot. Or two in each oversized mug.

Way 2 many

I would never sleep again!

Twelve just keeps you running…

I knew a woman who would drink a whole church-sized urn of coffee in a day. She had been taking lithium for mood stabilization and told me the doctor wasn’t able to get her level stabilized. I asked her if she ever told the doctor how much coffee she was drinking. I hope she did, as I’m sure that was what was causing the instability in her lithium response.

I’m still doing the research.

“No coffee” makes me happy. I can’t even stand to be around anyone drinking coffee because of that horrible smell. And the resulting bad breath.

No amount of coffee can make you happy. But my daily supply of very strong black iced coffee does provide a pretty good defense against the insanity of the world.