Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for July 15, 2022

Insurance will cover it.

Lesson learned: chew your food and don’t talk with your mouth full.

there’s an app for that

That’s OK big guy. You’ll get it all back in the damages phase of your lawsuit. Now, let’s see, what was that horrible food they served than almost caused your very early demise?

Even then you’ll have to cough up a big tip!

That’s their no negotiation policy…..

this one choked me up

I see the other customers are worried.

My black lab was an expert at the Heimlich Maneuver. Hiemlichen your face!

…but for your convenience the 20% gratuity will be added automatically.

Not giving said maneuver could lead to a lawsuit, thus the surcharge is better dropped from policy.

If it isn’t printed on the menu, it doesn’t count.

Time to patronize a different location.