Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 03, 2022

No, lets start with the service.

She has already decided she won’t be getting a tip from this couple.

You couldn’t pay me enough to work there as waitstaff. I’ve done some time in restaurants, so I know whereof I speak. I’ve also worked with folks who can interact with the grumps so they actually get decent tips. Usually. I’d rather be programming (something I took up later in life).

They’ve been here before … and so has she.

Uh Oh, it’s the Curmudgeons again! Why do they always go out of their way to come to this restaurant and ask for me by name???

Well, maybe it’s because I’m their granddaughter.

“Oh, so you remember us. Funny. Did you know the busboy’s been stealing your tip?”

We will just have our regular.

Agism

I’d like to complain about an appetizer. How about you hun?

On behalf of us old grouches (yea, I am one), we aren’t the ones shooting McDonald’s workers because we didn’t get enough ketchup packages, sugar in our coffee, or whatever.

If there is one thing I loathe is someone asking a million questions about the menu, food, etc. at a restaurant. Annoying

I had regulars like this. It was in fast food though that I had two people seperately complain about the taste of their food before they ate any on the same day.

How about you start with: Hi – my name is Kendra and I’ll be your complaint listener for tonight

Just hurry it up. It’s 4:00 and I haven’t had my dinner. :)

In the days when I was traveling with my wife (allergic to yeast) and my son (allergic to dairy), we’d tell the server at first appearance, “We want to warn you that we’ll be asking a lot of pain-in-the-butt questions about ingredients.” Many of them, given the warning and the reason, were happy to go out of the way to help—sometimes even bringing empty wrappers out of the kitchen for us to read the fine print. We tried to tip appropriately for service above and beyond.

The early bird specials aren’t cheep anymore.

Let’s start with drinks orders until you are completely unfiltered.

He looks ready. She could go either way.

Why are you asking us to complain?

As long as they don’t say …

You kids get off my lawn!