The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for July 23, 2022

was the opening band The Sweet? or the famous candy wrapper, M&M?

At our age it’s, I want to sleep all night & potty every day.

I keep telling you Zagnut Woman

You ain’t a Zagnut Woman

You’ll be a Zagnut Woman

When there’s no Snickers with pecans

Yummy, yummy, yummy got a pain in my tummy. Just a little too much Tootsie Roll.

Are any of their songs considered toilet humor?

Choc, Choc, Chocolaty, Chew, Chew, Chewy…..

Paraphrasing “Hotel California”: “You can unwrap the candy, but you can never eat it”.

“We don’t need no foil wrappers!”

I like this one!

I can name that tune in 1 bite! (Those lyrics are very hard to put to the tune.)

Are they playing “in residence” at Hershey Park?

“Baby Ruth I hear you calling, but I can’t come home right now. Me and the boys were playing, and I can not hear a sound. Just a few more hours and I’ll be right home to you. Oh Baby Ruth, what can I do? Baby Ruth, what can I do?”

Now THIS is a band I would join

Never got the appeal of Smarties. Ugh. But, Hershey Kisses….Heaven!

They travel with their Baby Ruth.

Almond Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the Swedish Fish in the deep blue sea. Almond Joy to you and me. (Yes Jeremiah was a bull frog….it was a long Three Dog Night.)

They sing bubble gum pop.

I want Candy!

We’ll melt your face, not your hands!!!!

We drove through Hershey, PA on our way to the 1964 World’s Fair. The town smelled like wonderful chocolate! I recall the street lamps had the lightbulbs shining down from Hershey Kisses.

Rejected song request..Wake me up before you cocoa.

Thank you Ronald! Finally a reader comment that was actually funny. In fact, funnier than Hillburn today.

In an effort to make a better joke, I tried to do something with other Kiss lyrics.Turns out I didn’t know any,even after Googling them.

Sugar, Oh, honey, honey, You are my candy girl, And you got me wanting you !

I love this one!

Next stop on their tour is Whiskey A Cocoa.

Now I will be singing those lyrics instead.

“But you’ll have to have them all pulled out after the Savoy Truffle!”

I miss when Brach’s was made in Chicago and used better ingredients and tasted way better. OK, being in Chicago, is was fresher from factory to mouth. :)