Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for August 18, 2022

Most Upbeat person I know

Cracking up.

The solitary life is not all it’s cracked up to be:

he’s cracking up and measuring his crack.

Hence, the expression “Might as well talk to a brick wall”….

Height or hair length?

Turnkey doesn’t care. He just wonders how you got hold of a ruler and a pencil.

At first I thought he was talking about the spider

POW training I say. Had to use it in the hospital lately, along with some Larry Lawton tips, you appreciate the smallest thing. I was on a starvation diet due to bowel issues, no food, one cup of ice a day. I found a dry piece of unused gum in my wallet, a crushed Chicklet, the nurse said I could crew gum, I made that piece last a long time, a nibble at a time.

If the crack gets any larger, he could pull an Andy Dufresne (from “The Shawshank Redemption”)

It’s time Let the Spook go, Let the Spook go. Let poor Wellington J. Fransworth Spookingdorf III Out. He is going mad, I tell you Mad.

If anyone deserves an imaginary friend, it’s Spook. What’s he in for, anyway?

It’s all he has otherwise he’ll lose his mind and fall through the crack

Foundation problems for sure…

Anyone else wonder what he did to deserve prison time?

Puhleese! Rules don’t grow. See the King!

In ten or twelve years he may have a back door!

Oh, I’m sorry! I meant to say, “You’ve grown 5.08 centimeters this year!”

The wall isn’t the only thing that’s cracked.

Measuring the crack on the prison wall.

Looks a bit like the crack in little Amelia Pond’s bedroom wall.