Kliban by B. Kliban for August 31, 2022

Roughage is good for you …

Original Metamucil

There’s that old saying: “Don’t Teach Your Grandmother to Eat Porcupines.” [Or is it “to suck eggs”?] Anyway, it’s advised to eat porcupines head-first. Tail-first is problematic — and painful. Grandma knows best.

Never accept an invitation to dinner from this family.

Grandma Durak also used to do the same thing. She’d say, “I pine for ypu porky” and gobble the down.

She was on pins and needles for the rest of the day.

Surprised she didn’t make a pie out of it. And had it with vanilla soup.

It’s her “caught” expression that sells it.

Grandmothers get a bad rap.. just because one likes porcupines.

Grandma was a tough broad…she even ate mousies when no one was looking….

And thus Chapter VII is all about filing for bankruptcy.

Wouldn’t a grandmother know how to field strip and cook a porcupine?

Grandmother never bought toothpicks.

That’s fine. I prefer rattlesnake.

Porc: the other white meat.

I’ll pass, thank you….