That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 15, 2022

/// As men battled atop the Bastille,

in front posed Citizen Nau-Deville.

It fell one day before

yet he’s bored by the war.

He’d have fought, but he’s much too genteel.

“Hey guys, I’m going to go check out this town’s YMCA.”

The bathrooms? They’re over there.

which way to codpiece beach?

Pull my finger. I dare you.

Lavatories are just over the hill, billeting on your right. Dry cleaners…just follow that pack of swine on the left.

Nuthin is more phallic than a musket-wavin’ Gallic in the mornin…

“What do you mean I’m over compensating? My gun has always been this big.”

Citizen Nau-Deville: “Look! The d——- Dalmatians have joined the revolutionary cause! Oh, I and my descendants will despise them for all generations to come! Curs’ed dogs!”

“Say fellas….it’s time for me to sashay out of here before my knickers get in a wad. If anyone should come looking for me I’ll be on the other side of channel.”

Hie thee hence to the helicopter!

“They went that away…”

How could you tell that I haven’t seen much action? Was it the hat or the shoes?

“Waldo? Oh, he’s over there.”

He’s more than a little effeminate /

Which accounts for the rumors that emanate/

From around the Bastille/

(The guards know the deal)/

And which I am inclined to disseminate///

He’s available every night/

And they say that his price is right/

He’s incredibly winsome/

And enhances his income -/

But in fact he is spreading a blight.///

So if you are imprisoned in France/

And are offered a chance at romance/

If you are astute/

You’ll hold onto your loot/

And keep everything else in your pants.

School crossing guard in an affluent neighborhood

That tavern over there has the lady that’s not a lady, trust me I found out for myself!

I know, let’s go into battle walking like an Egyptian.

They must have spent a fortune on clothes, wearing their finery into battle.

By the time I level this rifle the war will be over!

If your’e looking for Camp Lejeune, it’s over there.

" Does this rifle make my @ss look big? "

Great Moments in French Phallic Portraiture #369

There was a Parakeet on his finger, but it got bored and left.

Lord Cornwallis, taking a wrong turn, mistakenly surrenders to the French.

Your uncle Georgie, watching with disapproval as you leave him hanging on his “pull my finger” joke.

“Umm…guys? The fighting is over THIS way! Seriously, come on. Why are you running the wrong way?”

Worse. It’s the touring company of Hamilton.

I am General Layfayette. Quit calling me General La Petite!

Citizen Nau-Deville, in National Guard uniform, transporting a convoy of weapons and ammunition: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Garde nationale (Révolution française)" site=https://commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Deville, and click its link for info (best viewed using Google Chrome, with Google Translate added to chrome://extensions, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

That is the English title that 4 of 6 online translators produced. The other 2 had “carrying” instead of “transporting” in the title. French isn’t my native language. To me, it looks like “directing” would be a better word choice than either “transporting” or “carrying”; but, the translators didn’t produce anything like that as alternatives. Le citoyen Nau-Deville, en uniforme de la garde nationale, faisant transporter un convoi d’armes et de munitions is the French title. If someone fluent in French has a better English translation, please post it. Thanks.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2977 (August 14, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I couldn’t find any bio type info about this artist; so, no blog comment about him. First work, by this artist, used here.

Hey marines, the war is to my right, but the TUN tavern is to my left, choose for yourself.

The 12 boxes of classified documents are in that shed.

I am standing in the middle of the scene you are painting; and want me to move over there? OK.