Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 17, 2022

  1. 0146yellow
    Vilyehm  about 2 years ago

    Leafy.

    Greens.

    Beets.

    Tomatoes.

    Quick Mart.

     •  Reply
  2. Blunebottle
    blunebottle  about 2 years ago

    Spare grass.

     •  Reply
  3. Avatar2
    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member about 2 years ago

    It’s kind of creepy peeing green, to see your stream the color of the leaves…

     •  Reply
  4. Snoopy
    Darryl Heine  about 2 years ago

    What does asparagus have to do with restrooms?

     •  Reply
  5. Saw whet in hand
    khmo  about 2 years ago

    GOOD ONE!

     •  Reply
  6. Missing large
    Stocky One  about 2 years ago

    Looking for the restroom? Urine it!

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    dflak  about 2 years ago

    Except in North Carolina where the doors have a sign under the gender symbol, “Birth Certificate required.”

    My wife won’t let me go down to the State Capitol wearing a dress and using the men’s room. I think it’s because she doesn’t have pearls that go with my beard.

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    dflak  about 2 years ago

    Or in the New Jersey State Capitol where rooms are named after counties.

    Men, Women and in between Middlesex.

     •  Reply
  9. 7a3d35b05103496eecec311170ba260d
    Pickled Pete  about 2 years ago

    I finally confessed to my wife that I might have some urinary infection, as sometimes my urine had this real pungent smell… After she quit laughing, she said, “It’s the asparagus, you dummy!”

     •  Reply
  10. Ed583643 91bf 4172 be99 60eabdf33fa3
    Lee26 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    I’m glad now that I never cared for asparagus. I never knew this.

     •  Reply
  11. Witch4
    Bex Premium Member about 2 years ago

    local produce store has a one person bathroom with a sign that says “Whatever, just wash your hands.”

     •  Reply
  12. Large kimg0147
    Yakety Sax  about 2 years ago

    https://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20200802/1596379425_xs6qgtsu9y.jpg

     •  Reply
  13. Emmett and bella 3 3 2022
    EmmettWayne  about 2 years ago

    When I was young, we ate asparagus because my dad worked nights at a garage, and while he didn’t like it, mom did. Then when he started teaching and was at home at night, we stopped having it. Okra was the only other thing I remember he didn’t like. But he would eat anything else. But I don’t remember peeing green or stinking up the bathroom, but that was 60 years ago.

     •  Reply
  14. Missing large
    flatempest  about 2 years ago

    A new gender?

     •  Reply
  15. Pupil
    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Another stroke of genius hits @MarkParisi.

     •  Reply
  16. Saxon
    Nuliajuk  about 2 years ago

    Casting asperge-sions on people?

     •  Reply
  17. Missing large
    seesquare57  about 2 years ago

    For sure everyone in a public restroom knows who had asparagus for lunch/dinner! LOL

     •  Reply
  18. Mountain lynx
    Shikamoo Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Subtle.

     •  Reply
  19. Yellow submarine
    spaced man spliff  about 2 years ago

    Asparagus: (Jan. 21 to Feb. 19)

     •  Reply
  20. Bucketsidav
    Ripplin  about 2 years ago

    Hahaha, so true. Smelled so horrible last time I ate them I don’t think I want to ever again. :p

     •  Reply
  21. Missing large
    aussie399 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Makes more sense than the idiots

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Off the Mark