That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 30, 2022

“We can resist their songs by putting wax in our ears but how do we resist what we see?”

/// Sirens’ songs seduced sailors with voices

so compelling, the men made rash choices.

They were drawn to the sound

‘til their ships ran aground.

Wrecked and drowned while the Siren rejoices.

/// But Ulysses had fearlessness vast.

He said, “Men, lash me fast to the mast!”

Sailors, ears stopped with wax,

(safe from aural attacks),

were prepared, the sharp rocks, to row past.

/// Still, Ulysses went mad when he heard

Sirens singing. (Some said they’re part bird.)

Men were told to ignore

his pleas: “Row toward the shore!!”

This is how, Homer said, it occurred.

/// But this painting has altered the tale.

Naked beauties with flesh smooth and pale

climb aboard the Greek boat,

barely keeping afloat,

Oars are blocked, but the ship has a sail.

/// Mermaid tails morph into naked thighs.

Their appearances? Lush tempting lies.

Would Ulysses survive?

His men not “take a dive”?

Only if the wax sealed shut their eyes.

We all know they’re sirens, but what the he//! I say “Go for it!” 8^ )

Resistance was easier since they had taken matters in their own hands earlier.

Dibs on the fish girl!

Row, row, row your boatGently down the streamMerrily merrily, merrily, merrilyLife is but a dream..Or in this case, a sexual fantasy.

The original “Deadliest Catch”!

Don’t stop for them, guys! I bet their boyfriends are waiting behind this wave with their 5 backpacks and 3 pet seals!

“We are but eightscore young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.”

Oops. Wrong quest.

Resistance is futile!

Bring me the naked one. No, the other one. No, no not that one. Fiddlesticks bring them all to me.

Who’d want to resist that?

Wow that ship has a lot of ’oars

When police vessels were first equipped with sirens

To some from the Greek southern seas it’s “sireen”

Meaning Eileen, Doreen, and Kathleen

The beauteous girls aren’t immodest

They just aren’t at the moment em-bodiced —

Oh, and must not forget Josephine.

.

Lonely they are, ensconced on the rocks

Their appearances must seem unorthodox

Of course they do sing,

“Come, you guys let us swing

Until the very next Spring equinox!

.

“Oh, gaze on our luscious bazooms

Inhale our sweet fishy perfumes

Behold each callipygous

Gluteus Maximus —

A feast for your eyes, one assumes

.

“Oh, don’t row away per Odysseus

His reputation among us as a sissy is

He yearns for Penelope

In Ithaca for him awaits she

But you can have us now in a jiffy-Ish

.

“Oh, sail on, you stupid deaf men

We won’t sing and disturb you again

With wax stuffed in your ears

And your king stoking your fears:

Know you won’t survive this saga to the end!”

The king was known for his over the top test to ensure the authenticity of his eunuchs.

Etymology of the word “coxswain”.

Advertising billboard, Circa 1200 B.C., enticing young men to join the Navy!

“Let’s all sign the purity pledge” Which one of you idiots cane up with brilliant idea?

Sirens were always a problem for travelers.

the origins of telemarketing…

That’s a mighty small ship for such a long journey

Do you hear a siren?

It’s a rare man who would wish / For a woman who’s one-half fish. / But Hanks and Hannah raked in the cash / In a little movie titled “Splash.” / Proving there’s more than one meaning to “a hot dish.”

Go to sleep you little baby

Go to sleep you little baby

Your momma gone away and your daddys gone to stay

Didn’t leave nobody but the baby

“Go to sleep, little baby…”

Rowing for Stanford isn’t for the faint of heart !

Well, boys, the boat just broke down; we will be stuck here for three to four days. What to do, what to do?

Those guys should be wearing gloves or they’ll get blisters.

“Sometimes I really miss captain Ahab. This guy Odysseus is nuts!”

Your starboard lantern is out. I’m going to need to see your Captains permit and boat registration.

Nuthin is as lubricious as a cruise with old Odysseus in the mo-or-ornin…

The crew counters with Barry Manilow songs, and the sirens flee.

“Row faster men; with all these sirens going off it’s sure to be gale force winds coming!”

As he thought of what Sirens provide / All those warm lovely pleasures inside / His crew said, “What a dope! / Quick, hand me the rope! / Our leader is fit to be tied!”

In German mythology they pull you into the water, drown you, and take your soul for their ghoulish purposes.

“We work at a strip club on the island and our pole broke. Might we borrow this one?”

Nine months later, the ship was overrun with many a ‘son of a catapult’.

Jeffrey Epstein goes boating.

Ulysses is hoping to grope/

The siren who hangs from the rope/

She’s the best of the lot/

(Two legs she has got !)

With the others there isn’t much hope..///

The rest he will leave to his crew/

For sailors need something to do/

Lest (absent his scrutiny)/

They conspire to mutiny/

You wouldn’t want that, now, would you?

“Untie me, you fools! They’re just refugees from the Fyre Festival!”

Cut me loose guys. Don’t worry about me. They are only girls. I can resist them….

Ulysses and the Sirens: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Draper_Herbert_James_Ulysses_and_the_Sirens.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting. The last Other versions image points to the strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2986 (August 30, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 3 works by him have been used here. The January 22, 2021, strip used to have the prior (the artist info URLs in my comment there are here links in my blog comment). While the strip has changed, my comment is still there (the first URL has what the strip used to show).

“Turn me loose! Turn me loose I say! This is the first time that I’ve felt this way..” -Fabian (Forte)

This is where you cut bait and fish!

“Say, that’s a might big mast you got there. Could I help you rig it?”

Farewell and adieu to you, Siren Ladies

Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of Greece;

For we’ve received Captains orders to sail for old Ithica

And we’ll probably ne’er see you again

Resistance is futile.

it gets boring swimming around all day, sirens are looking for a few good men, but the men don’t seem to like them. so, the gals are going to Cuba for some excitement.

From the ruins of Priam’s Troy/

Sailed Ithaca’s “golden boy”/

Ulysses by name/

Fit, clever, and “game”/

And incredibly hard to destroy…///

He’s taking the scenic route/

Thus enhancing his growing repute/

Through the “wine-dark Aegean”/

To do some sightseein’/

Though he’ll likely return destitute..///

He misses his dog, son, and wife/

(In that order – for squabbling was rife-

In the Ithacan court/

Twas a spectator sport/

In fact, it could cost you your life!)///

He knows there are obstacles waiting/

Including both fighting and “mating”/

Polyphemus and Circe/

Will show him no mercy -/

But improve his “survival rating”///

He’ll lose most of the crew on the trip/

He’ll be guilty of many a slip/

He’s a poor navigator/

(He’ll cross that bridge later -/

On his radar that’s merely a blip..///

In the scene here depicted, he’s tied/

To the mast, whilst midst beauties they glide/

Who attempt to distract…

So many, in fact/

They must toss a few over the side…///

Now, it’s on to the Cyclades/

“Clashing Rocks”- no ship survives these !/

I’m already fainting/

Awaiting that painting /

Circe’s left me weak in the knees…

I’m sorry this labor is late/

(There were matters that just wouldn’t wait)/

These things (as you know)/

If untended, can grow/

So that all I’m writing. The End.

An early STD advertisement warning …

Herbert Draper sure liked painting women, usually naked.