B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for September 11, 2022

Payback!

Classic dad joke.

If Dad didn’t nail it, those carpenter ants (the Carpenters) would have. Of course, For All We Know they might come back to Sing Close to You.

I had carpenter bees attack my lean-to. I couldn’t drill more perfect 3/8" holes. I had to paint the rafters inside to stop them!

He certainly saw to it that he drove his son crazy.

No trouble keeping their pencils sharp

If the price of lumber is so worrying to carpenter ants, why don’t they try building their ant homes out of dirt from a hole in the ground? No wooden boards required.

Why was the baby ant confused?

All it’s uncles were ants.

M & H…Loved it!

You have three male ants, A, B, and C. Which ant floats better?

Boy ant C will float better.

Do the fire ants work for the fire dept., or are they the ones who start the fires?

Dad jokes are never funny until you retell them to your own kids.

No wonder the son is board.

Just had to pay a small fortune to repair home damage from carpenter ants, occurred before I bought the house but the inspector missed their handiwork. Kind of a sore subject….

Don’t mind me, just stopped by to read the dad jokes…

He was really trying to hammer the point home…

D-ant, D-ant, D-ant

What did the carpenter say when he was arrested?

I was FRAMED!

chortle

Maybe deadpan humor has run its day.

Most Dads are limited to G-rated jokes and the pool of funny in G-rating is pretty shallow.

“Wood you like to hear another one?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

I stand corrected. THAT was the worst.

dad jokes.

21 years later, I guess the 9/11 observations have run their course. Time heals all wounds.

Anyway, here in Arizona we have one of the more painful varieties of ants, the Maricopa Harvester ant. When I was a kid we just called them Big Red Ants, but I have only had two stings from them. Both times it was because they like to climb up under our pant legs until they start being squished by clothing – the first time from the hem of my underwear – and then they sting. The pain level is one level higher than that of a yellowjacket, but lasts for half an hour or more. While most fire ants rate 1 on the Schmidt Pain Index and Bullet Ants rate 4 (as high as it goes), Maricopa Harvester ants rate 3. Wikipedia reports: Schmidt considered the sting of the Maricopa harvester ant as having a pain level of 3, describing it as such: “After eight unrelenting hours of drilling into that ingrown toenail, you find the drill wedged into the toe.” My second sting was behind the knee when I was at work; I had to report it as a minor injury. It wasn’t disabling but it made walking awkward for about half an hour.

you got a screw loose

YouTube’s Dad Jokes are great.

Dad joke or not, I liked it! Made me smile!

And why are the Uncles left out of these jokes?

Those jokes can get “boring.”

They walk away singing “We’ve only just begun”…

The ARRRGH! says it all!!!

Where do fathers keep the lists of their jokes?

In a Dad-a-base

lol