Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 24, 2022

Is that on Pitt’s father’s or mother’s side of the family? As for Obama, definitely going to be on his mother’s side seeing as his father was a native African.

The western end of Eight Mile Rd. is at the intersection of Marshall. Eminem’s real name is Marshall Mathers, believe it or not!

We are all related…like it or not! I’m not happy with it

What goes around comes around.

AutoZone is still around, but Radio Shack isn’t (except for the online store).

I don’t get the Stan one

Obama, Pitt, and insignificant little me… all distant cousins. Jimmy Buffett is in the mix too.

Much of this I figured out by simply following “lines of descent” on the “Find-a-Grave” website. Amazingly, there’s a video there of an actor reciting a bit of the history of St. Cyr Zamor, my four-greats grandfather, and a photograph of his wife, my four-greats grandmother.

And… a photograph of the Biloxi tomb of St. Cyr Zamor, inscribed in both French and English.

If you’re descended from somebody famous from 300 or 400 years ago (Governor Bradford of Mayflower game being one example) you’ll probably find a lot of cousins. The genealogy of famous folks is often traced, and lineage is just as often claimed. I don’t know if John Wilkes Booth has any living descendants, but if so, it probably won’t be mentioned very often.

Speaking of cousins -

Two cousins go to the unemployment office.They ask the first one what he does and he tells them “pilot”. They tell him they can get him a job immediately. They ask the second cousin and he’s says “woodcutter”. They tell him it may be difficult to place him because its not really a specialty.

“Well you said you could get my cousin a job right away”. They told him there is a great demand for pilots, but not woodcutters.

He says “ Well, if I don’t cut it he can’t pile it”.

I haven’t seen this one in a while.

Paddy had just arrived in New York from Ireland and was invited by one of his American cousins to go to his first baseball game. Seated in the Yankee Stadium bleachers, he watched as a man swung a stick, hit a ball and started toward a white bag down the line.

Everyone stood up and yelled,“Run, run!”

Then a second guy came up to the plate,whacked the ball and started down toward the white bag. Everyone stood up again and yelled,“Run, run!”

A third batter came up, but this one didn’thit the ball. He didn’t even swing. Four timesthe pitcher pitched. Four times the catchercaught. Paddy was completely confused when the batter dropped the stick and started strolling toward the white bag.

“Run, run!” Paddy shouted.

“No, he doesn’t have to run” his cousin in-formed him. “He’s got four balls.”

Paddy’s eyes widened as he stood. “Walkwith pride, man!’” he shouted. “Walk withpride!”

In America we call people who marry their cousins Hillbillys.

In Europe they call them Royals.

Ninth cousins are no big deal. They are so distant that it’s really insignificant. Look at Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt; they were fifth cousins.

Just one more, then I’ll go.

After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided they’d had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped. “Me’n my cousin don’t want no more kids”.

The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it was expensive. “There is a cheaper option,” said the vet. “Go home, find yourself a cherry bomb, light it up and put it in a Coors Lite can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

“I ain’t no rocket surgeon," said the redneck, “but how’s that gonna help me?”

“Trust me” said the vet.

So the redneck went home, drained a beer then stuffed a lit cherry bomb in the empty can. He brought it up to his ear and began to count:

“1… 2… 3… 4… 5…”

Once he got to five, he stopped for a second, put the can between his legs, and resumed the count on his other hand.

Until next time.

Barry and Brad -yucksters

And the tenth cousin became a Circuit City clerk and lamented the demise of Lyndon LaRouche.

Take care, may aspiring jelly bean polisher Stan “If You Had A Face Like Mine You’d Punch Me Right In The Nose And I’m Just The Fella To Do It” Laurord be with you, and gesundheit.

I truly miss Radio Shack.

Stan was added to the Oxford American Dictionary TWO YEARS EARLIER, 2017, BION!

Do I even want to KNOW what the Eminem-inspired definition of ‘stan’ is?!? Probably not!

Brad Pitt has Hawaiian roots?

I feel sorry for Brad!

Tom Hanks and I are both descendants of Nancy Hanks Lincoln’s grandparents on the Hanks side of her family. Nancy was Abe’s mom.

I’m sure Brad is glad that he’s not related to ‘45’!!