Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for October 26, 2022

“Yeah. What are you going to do about it? Kill me?”

“Would it kill you to put on something decent?”

I’d worry more about the clean underwear. Not that they’ll be clean afterward, but …

Sure. I would be caught dead in this.

That simply will not do. Now go out and get a tux or at least a suit and tie. Don’t come back until you have something nice to wear.

Well I wouldn’t want the good stuff to get bloody dirty now would I?

Now that you mention it, I think I need to go shopping for an appropriate outfit. I should be back in time for the beheading. If not, start without me.

The red carpet is appropriately colored for the event.

Should he wear a crop top?

So hurry up and change. Chop, chop!

“Off with their heads!”

How about a chainmail aventail?

And please. Iron those things before donning them.

“A white shirt? The blood stains will never come out.”

I wouldn’t be caught dead in those clothes!

Oh, this old thing? I just threw it on. I didn’t want to get blood on my good clothes.

Etiquette and decorum were important at executions. The victim would traditionally tip the executioner. Though that may have been to insure a quick, clean job of it.

Shave and a haircut; that’s all.

I guess asking for just “a little off the top” is senseless…..

“I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing THAT…”

You’re right. I’ll just be heading back to my cell to change.

BUT, he has on clean underwear, so his mom’s happy!

What does it matter when my head rolls in a basket?

And wear your nice earrings. :)

Sounds like someone I know!

to wear that outfit he must have lost his head…

He never did have a head for fashion.

Must be the Queen Mum.