Well, my fellow comics fans, it’s a little too early yet for Santa jokes, St. Patrick’s Day is a ways off, and it’s just a little late for turning-back-the-clock gags. So what can I post on the Tuesday after the first Monday in November? Oh, I’ve got it! – ahem —
A man was concerned about his son’s future, and decided to put the boy to a test to find out which direction he might go in life. So he put a Bible, a $20 bill, and an apple on the kitchen table, thinking that if the boy picked up the Bible, he’d grow up to be a minister. If he was attracted to the money, he had a future in the world of finance. And if he chose the apple, obviously agriculture would be his ultimate field. So he called the boy into the kitchen and stepped out for a few minutes.
When he came back into the room, he found the boy sitting on the Bible, chewing on the apple, with the money in his pocket.
Sure enough, the boy went into politics.
And that’s the only political joke I know, except all those who will be elected or re-elected today.
Well, I’m sure fish can also have a great economic upturn and avoid depression as well as recession if they follow simple step by step fiscal guidelines which are outlined in … oh, you mean the psychological thing. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take care, may famed clown doctor Clem “Stick Around For The John Phillip Sousa Marching Band Followed By A Dozen Mimes With Cannon” Kaddidlehoppord be with you, and gesundheit.
Let’s see: you’re a fish and suddenly you’re plucked form the sea and placed in a tiny glass bowl, no other fish, no plants, nothing ever changes. Depressing? Um, yeah!
Wonder how much the researchers gleaned from taxpayers to research the emotions of fish, and in a “global warming/new ice age/population bomb” sort of way convinced people that they had a metric for measuring fish depression….we don’t have a 100% effective way of doing that with people, and they can respond with words.
My late loving wife also found out that Swearing was a good painkiller. She was always injuring herself at work (pet groomer) and Swearing helped her. It hasn’t helped me though, since she died.
Just looked up MDMA on Wikipedia, they seem to have a lot of good things to say about it. Nothing there about weight loss though. Oh yeah, there are some adverse side effects.
RE laughter: years ago I had a hernia repair. My dear wife took an hour off from work to make sure I was comfortably seated in my recliner with a cup of coffee. Then she put on a Lewis Grizzard cassette ( I told you it was years ago). Listening to Lewis talk about his visit to Russia and the palace of Peter the Great while nursing a freshly stitched abdomen and trying not to laugh, she’s a mean woman. If you don’t know Lewis, he’s on you tube (not live, he passed in 1995)
I have a friend who got the shingles vax, but she somehow didn’t get the word that it was a 2-shot vax, so she only got 1. Had a terrible case of shingles in one side of her face, affected her memory (evidently permanently), as well a few other things.
eromlig about 2 years ago
Well, my fellow comics fans, it’s a little too early yet for Santa jokes, St. Patrick’s Day is a ways off, and it’s just a little late for turning-back-the-clock gags. So what can I post on the Tuesday after the first Monday in November? Oh, I’ve got it! – ahem —
A man was concerned about his son’s future, and decided to put the boy to a test to find out which direction he might go in life. So he put a Bible, a $20 bill, and an apple on the kitchen table, thinking that if the boy picked up the Bible, he’d grow up to be a minister. If he was attracted to the money, he had a future in the world of finance. And if he chose the apple, obviously agriculture would be his ultimate field. So he called the boy into the kitchen and stepped out for a few minutes.
When he came back into the room, he found the boy sitting on the Bible, chewing on the apple, with the money in his pocket.
Sure enough, the boy went into politics.
And that’s the only political joke I know, except all those who will be elected or re-elected today.
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
fish getting depression: how so?
Bilan about 2 years ago
Laughter is the worst medicine when you have bruised rib or pulled pectoral.
Skeezix's Birth Father about 2 years ago
The fish may just be dealing with low self-esteem because of its weight. Give it some MDMA and see if that helps.
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
Well, I’m sure fish can also have a great economic upturn and avoid depression as well as recession if they follow simple step by step fiscal guidelines which are outlined in … oh, you mean the psychological thing. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take care, may famed clown doctor Clem “Stick Around For The John Phillip Sousa Marching Band Followed By A Dozen Mimes With Cannon” Kaddidlehoppord be with you, and gesundheit.
Nathan Daniels Premium Member about 2 years ago
As they say, laughter is the best medicine….unless you’re sick with diarrhea.
WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago
Let’s see: you’re a fish and suddenly you’re plucked form the sea and placed in a tiny glass bowl, no other fish, no plants, nothing ever changes. Depressing? Um, yeah!
BoydAdams about 2 years ago
Wonder how much the researchers gleaned from taxpayers to research the emotions of fish, and in a “global warming/new ice age/population bomb” sort of way convinced people that they had a metric for measuring fish depression….we don’t have a 100% effective way of doing that with people, and they can respond with words.
paranormal about 2 years ago
I once took a prescription diet pill that was actually speed…
John9 about 2 years ago
My late loving wife also found out that Swearing was a good painkiller. She was always injuring herself at work (pet groomer) and Swearing helped her. It hasn’t helped me though, since she died.
Buckeye67 about 2 years ago
Just looked up MDMA on Wikipedia, they seem to have a lot of good things to say about it. Nothing there about weight loss though. Oh yeah, there are some adverse side effects.
Stephen Gilberg about 2 years ago
Whoever prescribed that pill was a MaDMAn.
heathcliff2 about 2 years ago
As medicine yes, but it can also be painful.
Phil721 about 2 years ago
RE laughter: years ago I had a hernia repair. My dear wife took an hour off from work to make sure I was comfortably seated in my recliner with a cup of coffee. Then she put on a Lewis Grizzard cassette ( I told you it was years ago). Listening to Lewis talk about his visit to Russia and the palace of Peter the Great while nursing a freshly stitched abdomen and trying not to laugh, she’s a mean woman. If you don’t know Lewis, he’s on you tube (not live, he passed in 1995)
Cathy P. about 2 years ago
I have a friend who got the shingles vax, but she somehow didn’t get the word that it was a 2-shot vax, so she only got 1. Had a terrible case of shingles in one side of her face, affected her memory (evidently permanently), as well a few other things.