Peanuts by Charles Schulz for December 23, 2022

you’re overreacting over Christmas magic, Sally

No one has ever explained how he gets past the damper, either.

If that does happen, be careful and maybe don’t try the suit on

thankfully physics do not apply to Santa, hence, the lack of medical issues as well…

Don’t be fooled, that bulk is pure muscle. You think he does a 24-hour global round trip lifting boxes and climbing chimneys without burning a few cookies worth of calories? He’s got the build of those men who compete to see how far they can throw barrels of cement.

You could be famous then, The kid who saved Santa Claus and Christmas.

Santa is gelatinous and flexible, he can get through tight spaces like a Fat Octopus would. This is why the elves have nicknamed Santa “The Foctopus.”

He uses the elevator. You do have an elevator, don’t you?

To translate into English an Icelandic translation of an English song…

There’s something in the chimney and it doesn’t smell real nice…

And it’s been there since last Christmas

Be glad then that she doesn’t know about the real Saint Nicholas, Archbishop of Myra. And just the Thomas Nast version that we have today.

The original St. Nicholas — https://orthodoxwiki.org/Nicholas_of_Myra

America’s Santa Claus — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Try fat shaming him more; that provably works to get people to lose weight… if you’re rock-stupid.

Well if there is one expert who is perfectly suited to give an oration lecture on the fat city – it is Santa Claus.

“Fat City”, that was big in the 70’s. Anything with “…City” at the end. “Hot City” for a good looking girl, “Stupid City” if one or your friends did something dumb. Didn’t last long.

That’s why you should learn CPR, Sally…can you imagine how Santa would reward the kid who saved his life?

Apparently, Mrs. Claus and the elves fatten him up for the sake of his image.

Doesn’t Santa use magic with finger by nose and a nod?

Sally’s right. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen!

Fortunately, as Santa fattens himself up for Xmas, he’s probably in pretty good shape for an elderly guy of his advanced years. So, for 9-10 months of the year he’s in good shape.

Charlie Brown’s calmness here reminds me of the beginning of the Rudyard Kipling poem If

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs …

Just don’t be leaving him a glass of Slimfast and celery sticks, Sally.

Maybe you’d get to keep all the presents left in his bag.

The fears of childhood…

MERRY CHRISTMAS

If he does you get to keep the loot.

There’s something stuck up in the chimney. . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQS5nAesfGk

Even Santa’s not immune to it, I see…

Not long ago, Kurt Russell played Santa while looking like Kurt Russell does these days. His bulk is basically the heavy clothing he wears while traveling in an open sleigh at high speed https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2990140/?ref_=adv_li_tt

Santa is in great shape because of all the cookies and milk he consumes. He gets lots of protein, exercise and was born with low cholesterol.

I long suspected that some legends get mixed up when ingredients come from too many sources. We imagine a character who comes down chimneys, which can be pretty narrow spaces, but we keep imagining him as bigger and bigger. In “A Visit from St. Nick” (‘Twas the Night before Christmas) it’s implied that Santa is small.

Carl Barks addressed this in a Donald Duck comic by showing that Santa shrinks down before he enters the chimney, and then POPS back to full size when he exits.

A roommate once told me that his dad stuck a piece of red flannel in the fireplace grate one year. The youngest son brought it to school for show and tell after Christmas break.

Sally, since Santa Claus is a mythical being, if he has a coronary in your living room you can grab your toy nurses kit, whip out your make believe defibrillator and revive him.

You might want to do that for the red M&M as well. If you want to avoid such a situation, then just don’t have any M&M’s around for the holidays. Get Hersheys kisses instead.

Leave Santa some nitroglycerin tablets and practice CPR.

Shame on you Sally for body shaming SC! Coal for you! ;-p

This is pretty dark for a Peanuts strip. Sally talking about a coronary?