An optimist and a pessimist were riding a bus together when the optimist got hungry. “Let’s stop at the next restaurant,” said the optimist. “Then we can take the next bus and continue our journey.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said the pessimist. “It could cause something bad to happen.”
“Or it could cause something good to happen,” replied the optimist, “and besides, I’m hungry!”
So the two of them left the bus and went into the restaurant.
While they were eating, a news report came on the TV.
“A bus was crushed in an avalanche fifteen minutes ago,” said the reporter. “Everyone on the bus was killed.” The optimist and the pessimist recognized the bus as the one they had gotten off.
“See?” said the optimist. “I told you something good would happen if we got off the bus!”
“Good?” sputtered the pessimist. “If the bus hadn’t stopped to let us off, it might have missed the avalanche!”
A tree branch fell on my Cadillac convertible, when I reported it to my Insurance company they said it wasn’t covered because it was an Act of God! Sleazy insurance companies!
MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone… Now a joke :-Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ‘’Why did you do that??’’ The trooper responds, ’’You’re in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!’’
‘’I apologize sir, I’m not from around here.’’
The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.
‘’What was that for?’’ asked the passenger.
‘’I know your kind,’’ says the trooper, ‘’About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said ’I wish that son of a B!tch would have tried that crap with me!’’ …. Birdman out.
jmolay161 almost 2 years ago
I am surprised that John Lennon didn’t try to turn away the visiting Jesus figure. Imagine if he had!
Pickled Pete almost 2 years ago
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said the pessimist. “It could cause something bad to happen.”
“Or it could cause something good to happen,” replied the optimist, “and besides, I’m hungry!”
So the two of them left the bus and went into the restaurant.
While they were eating, a news report came on the TV.
“A bus was crushed in an avalanche fifteen minutes ago,” said the reporter. “Everyone on the bus was killed.” The optimist and the pessimist recognized the bus as the one they had gotten off.
“See?” said the optimist. “I told you something good would happen if we got off the bus!”
“Good?” sputtered the pessimist. “If the bus hadn’t stopped to let us off, it might have missed the avalanche!”
Mugens Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Can’t really argue with Paul’s reasoning.
John Wiley Premium Member almost 2 years ago
An “avalanche” occurs in snow. A “landslide” (or a sandslide, I suppose) occurs on sand dunes.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 2 years ago
With those sox? Of course, it was Jesus Sanchez. Heck of a guy.
Take care, may singing cowboy Gene “That Roy Guy Was Always Jealous” Autrord be with you, and gesundheit.
khmo almost 2 years ago
Merry Christmas all!
ComicLover2 Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Look up how Erine Chambers sued God. Interesting concept.
ChessPirate almost 2 years ago
“Ripley’s Believe It Or Not by Ripley’s Believe It Or Not presents Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!”
Believe it… or not… ㋡
WCraft Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Pretty sure they could’ve tested that Jesus imposter for authenticity…
e.groves almost 2 years ago
I’ve never heard that about the Beatles.
pbr50138 almost 2 years ago
Paul was wise to cover his butt. And I wonder if that woman ever got her money?
heathcliff2 almost 2 years ago
I have heard and read that Jesus has done that before.
oakie817 almost 2 years ago
and God didn’t have an attorney
koolodge almost 2 years ago
A tree branch fell on my Cadillac convertible, when I reported it to my Insurance company they said it wasn’t covered because it was an Act of God! Sleazy insurance companies!
mindjob almost 2 years ago
I’m with that dude. If I’m going to claim to be somebody famous, I’d pick Jesus. Cuz if I say I’m Satan, nobody is going to buy me lunch
magicfever495 almost 2 years ago
Boudreaux told Clotile that he and Thib was going fishing the next day and dar wasn’t nothing she could do about it.
Clotilde says ok we’ll see.
The next day Boudreaux and Thib were out on the lake when Boudreaux reaches in the worm bucket and pulls out a nightcrawler that was stiff as a nail.
Boudreax let’s out a sigh and tells Thib,
Well I’ll be dang, Dat Clotile she tol me we’ll see an I didn’t believe her.
Thib axe, Well what she done Boo?
She done went and put my Viagra in da worm bucket, now day so hard we’ll never get dem on da hook.
paullp Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Amusing array of items here, on Christmas Eve.
rhlp almost 2 years ago
I wonder what John Lennon had to say about that.
Birdman47 almost 2 years ago
MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone… Now a joke :-Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ‘’Why did you do that??’’ The trooper responds, ’’You’re in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!’’
‘’I apologize sir, I’m not from around here.’’
The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.
‘’What was that for?’’ asked the passenger.
‘’I know your kind,’’ says the trooper, ‘’About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said ’I wish that son of a B!tch would have tried that crap with me!’’ …. Birdman out.