That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 21, 2022

The latest in Mermaid fashion.

/// Oysterman’s gift to lovely young belles

is a necklace, hand-made out of shells.

Each girl hinted that she

would like jewels from the sea.

They meant pearls, not the oyster (which smells).

/// What was not known by these greedy girls:

If accosted by threatening churls,

they could make a loud honk—

just blow into a conch…

an advantage of shells over pearls.

She so perfect, even her hair looks great after rolling around in ebbtide.

Is that the she that sells seashells down by the seashore?

There are easier ways to get men to stare at your bosom dearie!

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

The book the artist read on Boticelli’s “Birth of Venus” was a very bad translation.

As her lover said, “Under that hard shell is a soft-hearted woman and well shaped woman.”

“What the …! I wasn’t wearing a see-thru top, and that is NOT what my nipple looks like!”

Jane Fonda auditioning for “Beach Blanket Bingo”. (Annette Funicello got the part.)

She said seductively, “If you don’t pick up on all these Freudian female symbols, you’re hopeless … Wang. Nice name you got there. Do the girls call you ‘Jammin’?”

“Shelley”- Shelly I get it!

Chinese checkers anyone?

It’s hard to say what my wife does for a living. She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

“I’m not sure, when I arrived at the party I was wearing a red sweater and black slacks”

Date Unknown…she’s got a modern look about her. Certainly not Renaissance or Impressionist or even PreRaphaelite…

A painter named Jiamin Wang/

made his beautiful girlfriend hang/

great clusters of shells/

‘Round her neck- “alarm bells”/

lest she bang other guys in his gang.

“Portrait of the Artist’s Girlfriend as a 1970s Prog-Rock Album Cover.”

It’s nice to see that the once-shy Conchita has finally come out of her shell.

Who knew shells could be so stylish? / But she does look a bit stand-offish. / They met by the sea / And she admitted that she, / Like Ariel and Madison, was sometimes a fish.

Wow! This popped up initially as a head-n-shoulders shot. What a letdown when I scrolled down…

Now she sits, still “beshelled”on the sand/

And awaits other “boys in the band”/

And Wang paints alone/

(Though he’s privately known/

To have taken his problem in hand..)

♬ Some of Shelly’s Blues

Was this the picture for her Christmas cards? I think I see a nipple…

Her left hand appears to be in a very large metal slipper.

It was very pretty until the hermit crabs started coming out.

Fun Fact: This is the first “This Is Priceless” feature using a work airbrushed on the side of a van.

Does she sell seashells by the seashore?

Shelley Beach, I used to work with her.

I guess she buys seashells down by the seashore…

♪♪♫ Looking for a quickee with an occidental chickee in the mor-or- ning! ♪♪♫

I’m shell-shocked.

Shelley LOL

Sure, some girls would “let it all hang out” just for some plastic beads- but if you wanted her shirt to go anywhere, you’d have to weigh it down with the good stuff.

Apropos of the season, music lovers, check out Yoyo Ma and Jake Shimabikuro’s duet on “Happy Christmas,” by Lennon/Ono.

Mermaids got square nipples!

Shell Necklace: 

https://www.artrenewal.org/artworks/jiaming-wang/shell-necklace/90016 

has info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. Again, due to copyright issues with images of paintings by this live artist, I can’t post it to Wikimedia Commons.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3048 (December 21, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Melania T. showing her environmental creds.

I like the painting, but I don’t think my wife would let me hang something like that up on the wall. “Why do you want a painting that looks like a photograph of a sultry woman? A sultry woman, who I must add, is NOT me?”

Marvel’s newest superhero, Fish Girl.

Sabrina Jillenkelly, from the 1970’s hit show “Charlie the Tuna’s Angelfish.”

Whoever she is/was, she is/was very attractive…..

Shelly the mermaid being in the water too long developed shell breasts, but they itched too much.

Perky, B1tc#y Shelley ? The poet ?

… and if your press your ears to the sea shells you will hear a ringing sound – right after her angry boyfriend clouts you with his easel.

For tomorrow:

His desk is always a mess/

But he still is a huge success/

And here is the reason/

No matter the season/

He lies to the I.R.S. !