Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart for February 16, 2023

Bit of overkill don’t you think.

It also works on ball point pens and vampire stakes.

But it is fully automated with the latest artificial intelligence. It stops at the metal eraser ring… in .1 seconds. With your choice of Dangerously Pointy, or Safety Rounded lead tips.

I can believe it! I like the old fashioned crank one, thank you!

They gave you an excuse to get up and stretch your legs.

Don’t let the mohel see this.

I thought that we reached a new level of decadence when electric pencil sharpeners were considered a necessity in classrooms.

I switched to mechanical pencils in the second grade after getting one in a pen and pencil set for Christmas in 1962. I remember the scorn on the teacher’s face when I first took it out to use – dunno why. She treated me poorly from then on. No more wiggling butt at the pencil sharpener for me.

…Got a Hemi in that sucker?

We sharp-test our pencils 5000 times to ensure quality…

And practical. It can be used as a paperweight too.

And when you’re not using it as a pencil sharpener you can use it as a brush chipper.

Only $10 in electricity to sharpen a pencil.