Herman by Jim Unger for February 14, 2023

Does pepper make you sneeze? We have some pepper.

Do you serve it intravenously?

Yes i would love some coffee. But i’m gonna need a long flexible straw.

Must be a new LVN. Caring but clueless.

pour it in through the spit valve

“No, thanks — part of this contraption is a half-full espresso machine.”

“So, the female trumpet player didn’t appreciate your off-color tuba jokes?”

make it greasing oil, please

Question actually asked by an ER doc when I went to the ER with a dislocated shoulder…..Does it hurt when you try to raise it? So I asked the doc after it was reset. Doc will I be able to play the piano? He smiled Yes sir! I replied Great! Never played the piano before!

I don’t think that offer is playing well with him right now.

I sounds like the clueless receptionist has asked him the question previously and is blind to his predicament. Maybe he’d like a cup to pour on her head to wake her up.

“Heenk! Honnnk!”

On the plus side, he’s got a head for music.

It’ll be cool by the time it reaches his mouth.

sooooo many questions! does he play the tuba? how did he get his nose in there? is he stuck on a valve? or is he caught in the curve? does it smell like valve oil or just spit? has he played for a while or is he just learning from the wrong end?………..

It looks like he won’t be playing in the band

Wah-wha-wha-wha Whaaaa.

“We need another horn in our Oompah band if you’re interested."

ROFL! Unger was the king of sarcasm!

He’s just there for a tune-up.

I’ll bet the real E.R. people are cracking up over this one.