FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for March 31, 2023

I never begged my parents for a dog growing up.

I was disappointed when they got me a dachshund instead of a bigger dog.

Clever girl.

Mother Doesn’t Want A Dog

by Judith Viorst

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they smell,

And never sit when you say sit,

Or even when you yell.

And when you come home late at night

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because

The dumb dog has to go.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they shed,

And always let the strangers in

And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs,

And track mud on the floor,

And flop upon your bed at night

And snore their doggy snore.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

She’s making a mistake.

Because, more than a dog, I think

She will not want this snake.

I begged for a cat when I was a teen – begged for months! When my parents still said No, I started asking for other pets.

It was shortly after I suggested a turtle that we went to the animal shelter and came home with a cat.

So Paige is right: it is all in how you ask!

Was one of the fish named Wanda? “Eww! Avoid the green ones; They’re not ripe yet.” ~ Otto

I’d love to have a fish tank, but I have no room for it; besides, I have cats.

My dad got a toy manchester in partial payment of some medical services. He said it was for us kids, but the dog never really liked anyone but dad.

Better be a Basenji…

Oh yes, the orange cat named Frodo that my two boys got in 2004 that they were going to take care of, which of course ended up being dad’s job. In the end it was ok though because we became best buddies until he crossed the Rainbow Bridge in 2021 at the age of 17.

Paige showing she’s smarter than she lets on once again.

Thanks for bringing this one back Bill, clever and funny…

You know, I don’t think I ever asked my parents directly for a pet. I just talked about imaginary cats for a while until they decided to get a real cat.

There’s a big dog in dachshunds.

My first dog was a Westie our neighbors brought over one night and just gave to us. Sweetest little girl she could be. I want another one.

Second dog was a pittie we found running the streets. She was a marshmallow, who got beat up by a 2 pound kitten. D@mn cancer.