Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for April 24, 2023

Whatever turns your crank, Aunty

Have the common courtesy to please call first. No matter who you are.

“What Do Say To A Naked Aunty?” That’s one movie Candid Camera won’t do.

I wish I did when the Jehovah’s Witnesses came around. I did answer when they came in a tunic, long red cape, pentacle necklace, am Om bindi, and holding a silver chalice with mead in it. They freaked.

That might discourage some people from coming over, but it could also ENcourage others. Consider yourself warned.

As a 15 yo water meter reader, I had drunk and belligerent housewives answer the door, but never naked.

I guess her soul wasn’t the only thing she would bare. ;-}

Pink bubble gum hair fat old lady is enough to scare the devil out of anyone but gop.

“Come After Breakfast, Bring Your Own Lunch, and Leave Before Suppertime”—Max Morath, I believe. . .

I let Jehovah’s Witnesses in, and then I play mind games with them (I have a fairly good grasp of the Bible due to a Catholic upbringing).

That should make it hazardous for the delivery driver.

That would by an image in my head that would never go away. Thanks for the warning!

I used to have JW neighbors in my former neighborhood. We were distantly cordial, but never really friends. One day I came home from work unexpectedly and found a car in my driveway. My minor child was old enough to be home alone, but not to let strangers in. I ran towards the door (my driveway was blocked by their car) and before I got to my front door 4 adults came out. I was already livid, as I knew none of them. I asked them who they were, and they said they were JW. I asked them who gave them permission to enter my home, and they said my child did. I told them that my child was a minor and had no legal right to allow anyone in, and if they didn’t leave immediately and never return they would be prosecuted or charges relating to child intimidation at least. Never had a problem there again. Child, who was a friendly sort, said they just wanted to talk and she didn’t want to be rude. We certainly had a talk that day. I don’t even know if one of my neighbors was in the car, but 4 adults going into a home with just a minor child in attendance? Not my home. It wasn’t their first visit, I found out.

Our team was living out of hotel rooms a month at a time and working 12 hour nights. The hotel promised to clean our rooms before we got back from work but didn’t and usually came knocking an hour or two after we’d gotten to sleep, ignoring the “do not disturb” signs. One guy got so mad that he started answering the door naked. They stopped cleaning his room after that.

Get rid of the hubby and i’ll come right over!

Aunty, considering that you often show up in your daily comic strip in your underwear, this isn’t much of a threat. We’ve already seen horrors that we’ll never be able to erase from our minds.

My husband swims and sunbathes in the nude by our pool, in our fenced in backyard. The pool guy has walked in on him more than once. Neither of them think it’s a big deal, and if the pool guy didn’t like it, he could text before he arrived.

That’s a proven way to get the God Shouters to never ring your doorbell ever again.

Just remind them that Jesus said everyone should “Love One Another” and watch them disappear in a cloud of dust.