That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 09, 2023

Marcia Brady having to use the pay phone in the den when her parents got tired of the high phone bills.

“But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.”

spending all afternoon on the phone with your boyfriend used to be a lot more difficult. You had to stand in the hallway and ignore dad’s glare.

“You’re a Nigerian Prince and you need me to help you move your money?”

… and the scam begins

/// Mildred didn’t say anything daring.

Spoke no “dirty” words; no sinful swearing.

Still, men paid well to hear

her describe, loud and clear

in detail every stitch she was wearing.

No! I do not have a car with the warranty about to expire…

The good old days, when phones were tethered and people were free.

One ringy dingy. Oh a gracious good afternoon iS this thE party to whom I’m speaking? SNORT.

“Khakis? What are khakis?”

To prove his daughter tied up the phone far too long, the dad had her portrait done during just one of her phone calls. The artist even had time to clean his brushes.

Two pies please. One Pepperoni and Cheese and the other Everything, please hold the anchovies. https://youtu.be/63yyMxlBhZs

Yes. I have hair down to there.

Reminds me of a joke: Al Capone was having a house built for his dear old mother who had just arrived from Italy. He told the contractor to spare no expense and give her anything she wanted. The next day Mrs. Capone informed the contractor that the only extra thing she wanted was a ‘halo statue’ in the corner of each room when the house was completed. The contractor was stymied as to what she could have meant, but the only conclusion he could draw was that she wanted a bust of various saints with large halos around their heads, and this he provided. During the final inspection of the house Al’s mother was delighted with the elegant home but dismayed that there were no halo statues in it. Frightened of what would happen if Al Capone found out that he had disappointed his mother the contractor rushed to the corner of the room and with a nervous smile pointed out a beautiful statue of Saint Francis on a corner table with a large halo around its head. Al’s mother looked at it and shook her head. "No, thats-a not what I want. I want you to give for me, in all-a the room, one of them thing what you say (at this point she raised her fist to her ear and said) “Halo? Statz you?”

Lorelei lived through the long ages, luring hapless fishermen to their doom upon her rocky shore with seductive murmuring songs, as she combed out her long luxuriant golden hair …

The heck with that. Once the “telefon” was invented, Lorelei moved into a nice dry former dacha, quit dyeing her long hair blonde, and started a “fantasy hotline” with a bevy of Rhine Maidens. That of course morphed into similar endeavors for Internet sites in the preset era. (Lonely and insecure human males are such easy prey!)

It was a more efficient, less messy way of duping schlubs of their wealth. Since the Olympian and Norse gods had their shticks superseded by Christian beliefs, they had to find ways to exist in a modern world — or fade into oblivion.

Some went into beauty products, some into music and movies. Some went into pharmaceutical businesses and are making BIG bucks.(oh, that elusive human search for immortality!) Others such as dryads and woodland nymphs are losing ground (literally) due to deforestation and Climate Change.

Ares AKA Mars the God of War has fit right in, has never diminished in power or popularity — is in fact more powerful than ever in the so-called Twentieth and Twenty-first Century. He sends multitudes to the Underworld, and that gives his brother Pluto ever-renewed purpose. Zeus has had many self-deceiving vain-glorious interns come-and-go.

Creative Immortals have no problem these days to maintain their existence. You’d be surprised at their present aliases — or maybe not …

Want to hear something really dirty ? Your phone bill is coming.

“What’s my favorite scary movie, well, let’s see, I guess there are only two choices – Frankenstein or Dracula And I could talk about both of them forever. Let’s get started.” Caller: “Oh, I think I dialed the wrong number!”

But Herman I don’t have any mini skirts?

“Yes, you naughty boy. Now think about me washing my ankles, soooo nice and slow.

This reminds me of this old song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MahswYBewb0

“Yes, I know it’s a party line. That’s why I’m calling. Tonight, 7 PM., my house.”

Sure, it’d be another thirty-five years before Conrad Birdie came to town, but Betty was going to be the first to tell her friends when it happened.

Remember, never pick up the phone on the first ring – it makes you seem desperate.

Edith, having missed answering the phone when it rang, on her 10th try – “Did you just call me?”

Young Woman on the Phone: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:People on telephone calls in art" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Max, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed with Google Chrome which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by merely clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s THROWBACK THURSDAY: MASTERPIECE #41 (11/27/09) (March 8, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment. I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, only work by this artist used here (3 times total, including this Throwback Thursday, and a prior repeat), the January 3, 2012, strip being its first use, and the August 29, 2014, strip being the repeat. GoComics has deactivated the hyperlinks and removed the line breaks in my comments for those strips; but, maybe their texts remain informative.

“The calls are coming from inside the house.”

hello my name is greg from health systems can you gear me ok?

you can’t have the wrong number, there is only 3 phones in town.

“No, I don’t have Prince Albert in the can. Uncle Ed’s in there. Alone, so far as I know.”

“Watson- come here. I need you..”

She said “Watson – come here ! I need you!/

Come quickly – let nothing impede you!”/

And Watson’s no dunce-/

He came more than once !/

Which is probably better than we’d do…

“Sorry, Willard, Margaret isn’t here. But I’ll tell her it’s you again.”

Why yes! I let my hair down … just for you!