FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for June 03, 2023

Dump it on her head!

Time to plot an appropriate gesture of appreciation for her

he needs a mistress

I predict a verdict of justifiable homicide.

Be prepared for a massive headache from caffeine withdrawal, Roger.

Grounds for a divorce, right, well if her cooking isn’t enough grounds already. Do you need grounds in the US?

On this one I actually agree with Andy.

I find that nothing wakes you up quite like prescription amphetamines. Nothing keeps you awake long past your ideal bedtime quite like them either.

This must be why Starbucks exists.

“Refreshing” her by dumping said glass on her head is the kindest thing I’d think about in Roger’s place…

Drinking a glass of apple juice will wake you up better than a cup of coffee.

Now this is just plain evil !

Why can’t Roger operate a Keurig?

Don’t mess with my coffee in the morning!

I took up drinking coffee in college. I’ll be the first to admit I (like every other coffee drinker) am badly addicted to it.

Believe it or not, I managed to quit once. It was about 10 years ago (I was in my early 40’s). I had been suffering from a 3 day stomach flu. When I got over the bug, I realized that I had gone 3 days without coffee, I might as well just stop drinking it. What followed can only be described as bizarre. I spent the next two months with the feeling that my consciousness was roughly 3 inches to the right of my physical self and I was operating my body via remote control. The world was just “off.”

The thing that made quitting the hardest is that you don’t realize how many times a day you get offered a cup of coffee until you have to say “no” constantly. I suppose it depends on one’s social circles, but in small towns coffee is a big deal. It’s also a big deal if you work in maintenance in manufacturing. Having a cup of coffee in your hand while sitting in an old friend’s kitchen is important somehow. And watching the sun rise over Detroit from the top of a blast furnace seems to demand it (an experience from a previous job).

I think I was nearly caffeine free for two years. (What I just recently found out in conversation with my (nearly) adult children is that I was miserable to be around for the first 6 months of that time.)

My downfall was another illness. I was dealing with an extended head cold / sinus infection and the day came that I HAD to be awake and sharp. So I brewed up some two-year old grounds in a saucepan and filtered it through a coffee filter with a strainer. That afternoon I bought myself a brand new coffee pot and thus ended my caffeine-free days.

Honestly, I like my coffee.

…And that’s when I killed her, your Honor.

so he could splash it on himself… meh, it doesn’t always work.

Yeah, good job. If he makes it to work without killing himself, he’ll NEVER drink coffee there. Andi is such an unlikable character.

I’m glad I never got into the coffee habit. My parents drank coffee all day long, as did my wife’s. Our (grown) kids drink coffee all day long. It skipped a generation with us.

Nobody’s taking my coffee away – nobody. I buy my own anyway. We all have a hill we’d die on, and this is mine.

Andy, you might want to consider that Roger has never once entertained the thought of divorcing you. Killing you YES, but never divorcing you.

P 4 (Roger): “… okey dokey andi… have it your way…” ( reaches for a bottle)

There are sick people everywhere. Sick and cruel.

At least cut him back gradually so his body has time to detox. I only allow myself one cup a day, and sometimes I skip coffee altogether for a couple of days.

I’ve never had coffee, and I wake up just fine. :)

LEAVE. THIS. WOMAN.

If I wanted to quit drinking coffee, first I’d go to Italy where you can only get coffee in little cups, then I’d go someplace where they didn’t have it. It’s a two-step plan for coffeeholics

Andy, this will come back to haunt you when Roger runs up a massive bill at Starbucks.

I came back from Italy, bought an espresso maker, and enjoy REAL coffee every morning. American mad coffee is just brown water.

American made-sorry. Starbucks is just sugared water. Same with Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Peets gets close to Italian Coffee but not quite, and Porto’s Cuban Coffee nails it.

Apparently Roger needs coffee to get his eyes to open.

I want and need my hot bean juice!

Andy was a Masterdebator when under the caffeine habit…

Dump the ice water on her, Roger

She’s right.

any other excuses why you coffee drinkers drink coffee?

Well… there is always Garfield last resort solution. https://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1987/12/04 .

This deserves an old urge to kill from they’ll do it every time