Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 23, 2023

It must be because you’re overqualified.

Lake Michigan is covered already on Chicago’s west side. The Bears and Cubs depend on Goldilocks’s prompt and efficient mannerism.

The interview was on the internetted of Al Capone’s and Ted Koppel’s line of thoughts. It’s the thought that counts…

You canned tuna boat but not canned tuna fish.

Harry Carrie’s newscast…

Keep holy the Sabbath,

Holy Cow…

Ole Jedphrow and Jeffphrow seemingly tossed a no hitter perfect game. A millionaire’s dream but something fish flippy about it. Maybe Drisdale up the river bank…

I think he misunderstood what the job was. For him, it involved being delivered wrapped in a newspaper.

…something smells fishy…

…but a strong unfamiliar and unpleasant odor — especially one that continues for several days and smells fishy – isn’t normal…

…luckily…

…we get our newspaper in the mail…by our femail man…

…not allowed outside of Disney in Florida…

…George Santos was a Mermaid paper boy…

… That ate asparagus…

…and Limburger cheese…

…with onion and salt and pepper…

…and drank Rootbeer Fago…

Did you apply just for the Halibut?

Sounds fishy to me…

Watch out for Pauly Walnuts! His specialty is newspaper wrappings and swimming with da fishes!

Maybe they thought you’d be too intimidating when you went around collecting?

A brutal job with very little reward. You dodged a bullet, friend.

Another fish story.

“… They can’t play baseball,

They don’t wear sweaters,

There not good dancers,

They don’t play drums …”

Dr. Demento – Fish Heads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqF12EkBrPM

Very colorful scribbles in today’s art, T, showing their evolution into doodles … it’s, it’s…um… posthistoric, yet wet …!

( CaFfEiNe! )

That’s because the canary has cornered the market, using them as carpet for the bird cage. Today, fit to print is synonymous with fit for T.P.

Novelty ads…

Glad there was the disclaimer to use red ink for the blood, though that seems marginally better. No doubt the blood will be streaming from your nose after you pull this prank on someone and they pop you in the nose for it.

“Monkeys make the craziest people.” My favorite part of this ad, though I think people are neck and neck with monkeys for being crazy. Too bad you can’t quite read what one person wrote after receiving his monkey. Probably something like…. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

My favorite part of Aeolipile…. When you whip out your…

Whip it out, add water, start a fire, wait for it to heat, add more fuel, wait some more, eventually scald passers by. Boy the number of times I whipped it out and did this, I just can’t understand why I never got a date out of it. Sigh…

People are often overjoyed when I shove my bloody finger in their face!

I ordered the Nobility card, and all I got was a “You’re too lame for Nobility, buster!” response. Can you combine two I.D. cards and become a beautiful corpse judge? Asking for a friend…

By Teresa’s monkey-skull windchimes, I’m impressed that back in the day there was clip art available for the glass nose-bubble.There really IS clipart for anything!

Oh, you silly mahi-mahi (a.k.a. the common dolphinfish)! Everyone knows you can’t deliver newspapers (whatever those arcane archaic things may be) when you are wrapped in them! Not even a skilled contortionist could manage that feat! Still, I respect your courage in applying for a job that even in the Best of Times (or Tribunes, or Gazettes, whatever) paid next to nothing.

Swim away, swim away, before some hip Young Nouveau Riche makes of you a sad sushi….

It’s time for NOTHING HERE TO SEE …

Today’s offering:

This year’s New Year’s Eve will be 12/31/23, 1.2.3 1.2,3 …!