Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 04, 2023

Our neighbors have two dogs. They have trained them to bark anytime anyone is in the vicinity. They did this by barking (“hey shut up”, but it’s barking) WITH them when they bark.

It’s not endearing, but it’s tolerable. They’re actually sort of almost okay dogs except for the noise.

It should be K9-1-1… Just saying.

Some dogs just wet the carpet when strangers call.

Also do that if you can’t count.

“One if by land, and two if by sea.” The British are coming!

As long as I’m not barking at a robot on the line..it’s good!

The Cat Hotline would be a much different dialog. “If you see something, go back to sleep” …I’m a cat person, I prefer purring over barking.

While you are waiting, we’ll play “who let the dogs out” but in the Muzak form…

My Chihuahua falls into the last category…

Please stay on the leash; your bark is very important to us.

“If you are calling from the dog pound, press #.”

For my dog it works this way: If someone parks in the driveway, walks past the picture window, up to the front door, and rings the bell – complete silence. If someone walks on the road in front of the house – bark like a lunatic until the authorities yell at you.