Free Range by Bill Whitehead for May 13, 2023

Cranky "pill"grim.

“What’s with the lisp? And don’t call me prissy.”

with a pretty pink parasol, perchance?

Neat or on the Plymouth Rocks?

He’s not a Puritan (at least not today).

Hard day at the Rock?

Avoid the bishop’s collar.

Partaking of the grapeth

Verily, I must wetith mine whistle.

I shall requireth a Wild Turkey, the drink and the bird.

Take your cup out to your carriage, set it under the front wheel, get in drive forward and your cup will have beeneth runeth overith…

But that would be abuseth of the alcohol.

That translates to “Please makes my cup runs over.”

Double shot of Pepto-Bismol coming right up!

That’s… not correct for King James-era English. Not that most people would know. I’m positive there are sites to “translate” text.

The suffix “-eth” is the old-fashioned substitute for the letter S. So if he really said, “Please makes my cup runs over,” the bartender would probably say, “You’ve had enough already, Pilgrim.”