Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for May 12, 2023

You now live in a beast’s mouth with rotten teeth, and you get NO friendship bracelets.

Thrown into the headless ballet dancer’s jewelry box in a fit of despair. Now a men cave dragon hold and lunge rights fill the air.

Put a merkin on King Richard the Nudest. Beauty and The Beast.

Seriously folks, this is pre Xbox, or Nintendo, set in ancient time…

Oh my goodness, Frog Applause has gone full-on Hieronymus Bosch!

Everybody thought the new Froglandian night spot was pretty cool. But the critics in the Froglandia F. Repress, the paper of record, were unusually harsh in their review on Monday morning after the Grand Opening weekend.

You shall rue for eternity your unwillingness to pay sales tax on friendship bracelets.

Well, I guess there is an upside to going down to a hellish, ill- smelling place.

Feeding humans into the portal of hell’s creatures and torturous furnaces!

Bracelets, no earrings!

St. Leopardosous the Lame freeing the tormented workers from the Bath Mat Factory Cafeteria.

The frontispiece to the 1898 edition of the Bath Mat Factory LookBook.

Offbeat, Weird, AND Hellish too …! We’re now halfway there to “With six you get eggroll” …!

Are the friends black market, or are the bracelets? Which one was responsible for the ill-scented decent? If it was the bracelet, is that like the mark of the Frog or something. Does it portend understated kittenishness? I have been called a black market friend. We are unpredictable, but loads of fun. I neither confirm nor deny the presence of an ill-scent.

I kinda figured that friendship bracelet factories were in that sort of neighborhood.

I know not from which medieval Spanish Apocalyptic manuscript you have filched the Maw of Hell image, with the Leopard of Heaven rescuing Adam and Eve from their eternal torment, nor does it really matter all that much. What is worrisome, rather, is that black-market friendship bracelet factory! Surely a sweatshop exploiting Froglandia’s newest immigrant population, not to mention tarnishing both the friendship bracelets themselves (through tawdry fabrication and substandard materials) and their consequent reputation! This is a blot on our fair Froglandia’s international image! The Froglandia Bureau of Investigation—yes, our own FBI— must put a stop to this pictorial pilfery and bracelet brigandage! Forthwith! So let it be!

…every second Sunday in May they celebrate Burning Frog at old man Warner’s place…

…Coming out of the dragon naked…

…or Facing Grace…

…is the big attraction for many….

…exiting the dragon naked 234th …

…(some years they have to cycle through twice)…

…gets you a brand new car…

…well…

…a Prius…

Capitalists at work.