Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 06, 2023

She had spend a fortune on the funeral.

Cremated all it would take is a vacuum cleaner. You’re going to require requesting a special trash pickup.

Well, what did you return with?  A nice souvenir?

Your physical body in peak condition?  Or just a moan and a bad smell?

But are you Grateful? Will she be?

…now, she just ghosts him on Facebook…

… that Lazarus…

…always bragging…

…my cousin went to see the Dead with his girlfriend…

…didn’t return home that night…

…his wife wasn’t too happy that he didn’t return from the Dead…

…his girlfriend scratched up his back…

…and left bite marks on his neck…

…let’s just say his marriage is dead, now…

..has been for years…

…he can’t even go back to his old haunts…

…that’s one cold Ethel…

…one cold cold Ethel…

…“I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it."…

…i bet you didnt know that Dickens was a ghost writer…

…ghost writer in…

…ghost writer in the sky!…

..yippee ki-yay…

…mother father son and daughter…

Her lawyer will insist on invoking the “til death do we part” clause in the vows.

For some reason, I began to think of the cat as Nik. That would be short for Nikola, of course, after Nikola Tesla. I don’t know why that came to me, but there it was. I think it may have been due to the appearance of there being some sort of invisible waves allowing communication, which gave the cat the ability to control me remotely. I knew that was dumb, but thoughts come and go, a lot like cats and birds do. In that moment, it struck me that Tesla had thought of a bird as his true love and soul mate. I imagined how that reunion would go, if he had returned from the dead as an orange tom. That’s what decided the issue for me. I was going to let the cat into the kitchen.

2 times dead equals 3 times living.

unfortunately, she’s moved on.

I know my ex was never too happy when I’d finally come home, toss my hat through the door, and then holler, “Don’t pay the ransom, honey! I’ve escaped!”

Cue dramatic organ chords.

It was Ok, they played Dark Star, into Eyes of the World and finished with Jack Straw.

Once dead, twice buried, three times a lady …!

(CaFfEiNe)

I doubt your happy either dr evil

He always was a creepy sort of fellow! And really cheap!

She’s living high off the hog since his demise but now this changes everything.

Everything, I tell you‼️

The Social Security Administration will like be more unhappy than his wife.

#bureaucraticnightmare

Unless they came back specifically to help with chores. In which case, haunt away! ;)

And after she had the chair re-upholstered and everything.

She probably already spent all your $.

There’s not a ghost of a chance she’ll be happy.

Drinking

HE BREW BEER.

Did she sell off all of your cool stuff?

Shaddup! Haven’t you ever heard, “Dead Men tell no tales”?!

But, on the other hand, maybe it would be kinda interesting to hear how you achieved such revenance….

…I was dead and still working…

…feeding the bugs and critters…

…scientists believe that after officially being pronounced dead…

…that the brain can still function for up until an hour…

…I heard my brats fighting over my bathmat collection…

…I mean my body’s still warm and they are all going…

…I ain’t gonna take it…

…you take it..

…like he’ll I will…

…look, I’ll take the nude Grace the face…

…but only because it was printed upside down…

..geez, you idiot…

…you just need to flip it around…

…well, I’m not going to the funeral unless I’m fed…

…there has to be food…

…I have to be fed…

…he should have been nicer in real life if he wanted to keep his knickers…

…his knickers tickets you mean…

…no, I took his knickers…

…it would be a shame to bury him in them…

…ouch!…

…I’m ready for this brain to turn off, now…

Back from the Dead Tour!!

I’ll bet not!

Dazey, Dazey, give me your answer Day Two …!

oh right. that will pi55 her off

Can she tell the difference?

Wife: “Are you just gonna sit there forever?”Husband: nose falls off