Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 25, 2023

You’re lucky they haven ’t snatched it from your hand already.

Is that Alfred Hitchcock in the background?

Or maybe Gull-able ?

Since when do seagulls wait.

Yeah, Norma. Pay attention.

You can’t argue with the evidence.

I remember being at a beach and feeding a seagull for the first time. (Living in Missouri, I’m not familiar with beaches or gulls. Anyway, I didn’t realize that dozens will descend upon you, then bring their friends, and their friends, and their friends … and I only had half a slice of bread.)

This is about to tern ugly.

Leader of the flock!

depends on the crowd your trying to be approachable from. :J

I he approachable, or is it his lunch?

Potential feeding frenzy.

Mine.

We see them down here on Miami Beach all the time. Just don’t have a visible sandwich or piece of bread.

However, by 6pm all the birds are gone.

I can’t figure out where do they go?

Mine! Mine! Mine!

If you don’t share, the seagulls will simply swoop in and steal your food.

The unmitigated gull of those birds. (Tip o’ the hat to today’s reprint of Richard’s Poor Almanac for that one)

“Mine!” times 35

Flock of Seagulls are making a comeback.

If you are not carrying food, a seagull will poop on your head. I don’t have pictures of the event, but I have a witness who saw me stick my head in the laundry room tub and wash my hair the second I was inside. That was a big “ew.” I had no idea they had such a large splatter pattern. I thought it was raining, since I could hear something wet hitting a bag I was carrying out of a store.

Mark Parisi made sure they were drawn to him.

It’s such a theme that a specific entertainment pier in Wildwood, New Jersey makes seagull plushies with a different form/theme annually for purchase or winning.

This year’s plushie features a crinkle-cut French fry in the gull’s beak. When officially released, plenty of other makers rush out to make knock-offs with the same theme.

He’s going to eat the sand which is there

This confirms what she’s known all along. He’s for the birds.

All the gulls come to his yard

Seagulls LOVED my father! (the feeling wasn’t mutual ) One time we were at the beach & they tried to make off with his glasses case ! (what came out of my dad’s mouth wasn’t exactly "Have a nice day, birds! " )

Well, yeah…as long as you got the goods. Once that’s gone, you’re yesterday’s news…