Close to Home by John McPherson for October 27, 2023

so you’re telling me that Heaven is essentially Facebook? Well, thanks, I can lie rested in hell.

I’m doomed!

If Bleeb made it in, everyone should be able to. Um, right?

Oh-HELL-no&666

How do you find out the password?

It must be stored in the cloud…

A man arrived at the Pearly Gates and was surprised when St. Peter said to him: “OK, here’s how it works: there is a point system and you have to score 100 points to enter. You tell me why I should let you in and I’ll keep score.”

MAN: “OK, let’s see…I attended church regularly all my life, hardly ever missed.”

St. PETE: “1/2 point.”

MAN: “Wow…this is way more difficult than I expected. I can say that I never cheated on my wife for all of our 55 years of marriage. I also volunteered at the homeless shelter and gave regularly to charity.”

St.PETE: “Well that’s worth 2 points.”

MAN: “Oh, dear, I’m done for. The only way I’ll ever get in is by the grace of God.”

St.PETER: “100 points!”

sweat

The value of π to the last digit?

Note to self: Remove and change the SatanRules666 password I have tattooed on my butt.LMAO

… OICU812… now where’s my wings and my hospital gown?!

Well, at least Bleeb made it!

i’ve been saying for years, when i get to heaven they won’t let me in because i’m on the wrong screen

I shouldn’t like it, but it sure fits the nightmare of all the things that require passwords these days.

Seems to be more hell-like than I’d thought.

Thank you, new nightmare unlocked.

If heaven is your “assigned destination” (If you’re truly getting in), your pass (“password”) to get in has already been taken care of for you. And there’s no price for you to pay (It’s been paid for you.) [Maybe this isn’t really heaven.]

That’s what it feels like with important ones sometimes.

Should have brought the book with all my passwords…crap

Look under the keyboard.

Oh gosh, everyone’s worst nightmare!

Try “J3sus_$@ves!”

“Jesus Saves”. That’s gotta be it

God _dammitt?

Everything is supposed to be simplified in the great beyond. Maybe the password is “password”.

“Mellon”.

HA! Good one!

John 14:6

It’s Jesus.

Make sure it’s not stuck on CAPS LOCK!!!!!!!!! Happens to me every time! Now give the nice man a fun tour, Bleeb! :)

Hell no, I won’t go.

Oh wow they’re hard core! Not even for 5 minutes. Straight to locked out for eternity. Though sometimes 5 min feels like eternity.

That’s a sick thought!

Talk about pressure…..

I’ve got no chance. It will take me an eon to try all my passwords.

It’s the first one you every created. Problem is you made 30 others since and changed each one 20 times.

Why would I want in? Sounds very boring to me, and judging by many of those who are absolutely convinced they will be there it’s a bad neighborhood anyway. Besides, that would be a dead end. I’m ready (well, preferably not today but whenever the time comes) for an intermission and then on to the next one for another set of adventures!