The Buckets by Greg Cravens for November 01, 2023

Stump remover and sugar.

I need smoke bombs. Right now I yell “SMOKE BOMB!” and do the throwing motion, but without the actual smoke bomb people can still see me leave.

I probably look silly without the smoke bomb.

I have exactly the number of the smoke bombs I need.

“Nuh-uh…” “No way…”

“Yeah, probably just a ‘Dad Joke’…”

At Auburn, back in the sixties, I roomed in a men’s dorm. One long hall with rooms on either side. We were rivals with another hall in a separate building. You could stand in our hall and see all the way down the other hall.

Each hall had pay phone booths build into the hall (kinda mini rooms with doors). If you walked past it you couldn’t see inside (dark).

One day someone from the other hall put a dead fish in a small bucket of water in our phone booth. Was there a day or two before being found – stunk up the whole place when someone went in and accidentally kicked it over.

A day or two later, someone from our hall (I’m not saying who) took two or three styrofoam cups, crumpled them up, wrapped scotch tape around them to make a ball, put the ball on the floor of the rival hall’s phone booth and set it on fire.

It burned slowly and VERY smokily, with the door closed. Someone eventually noticed smoke coming out around the phone booth door and opened it!

You could not see thru the hall, it was just filled with smoke (I just laughed again thinking about it). They got floor fans and eventually got it clear.

Shortly afterward the dean of men walked down our hall, glaring into our rooms. I and a friend were subject to this glare – and I really think he was trying not to smile…

Good question, better answer.

Dads are famous for their smoke bomb buzz kill!

This feels like an idea that came after one too many bong hits.

I rely on my gas bombs.