Has everyone heard about the two shipwrecked sailors stranded at sea in a small lifeboat? A brass lamp floated by and one sailor gabbed it and started to rob he tarnish off when suddenly a genie appeared and granted them one wish. After some thought the other sailor, very thirsty by now, blurted out, “I wish the seawater was beer”! Suddenly the whole sea turned to beer and the genie disappeared. “You idiot” the other sailor exclaimed, “Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat!”
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be THREE wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s m’brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an APPRENTICE genie? Do you know how much work a highway all the way across the Pacific Ocean would involve? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
The Terms and Conditions: you get 3 and only 3 wishes, no substitutions exchanges or refunds. Your wish cannot be to kill anyone. Your wish can’t be to make someone fall in love with anyone else. Your wish cannot bring anyone back from the dead.
Ratkin Premium Member 9 months ago
Their questions aren’t exactly in-genious.
David_the_CAD 9 months ago
Well that is 1 wish down.
saylorgirl 9 months ago
Poor Genie having to deal with these two.
Izzy Moreno 9 months ago
Well, if you can’t wish for a different genie, maybe you can wish for a different magic lamp.
PraiseofFolly 9 months ago
A post-stressed apparent blue genie, after encountering this pair.
Lenavid 9 months ago
Don’t bother. You wouldn’t read them anyway.
comixbomix 9 months ago
Talk about being careful what you wish for…
[Traveler] Premium Member 9 months ago
I saw a version of this where the first wish was for the flashy memory clicker from Men In Black and they reset the genie’s memory after every wish
Darryl Heine 9 months ago
The Genie is a minature version of the Genie from Disney’s Aladdin (with apologies to the late Robin Williams).
1953Baby 9 months ago
Welcome to America. . .
Count Olaf Premium Member 9 months ago
Can you wish in one hand and poop in the other? Asking for a friend.
uniquename 9 months ago
Can you wish to be a magical wizard?
P51Strega 9 months ago
Go ahead and wish for more wishes. {GRANTED!}.
Hah, you always had them. Everyone has unlimited wishes. They don’t come true, but you can wish away to your hearts desire.
goboboyd 9 months ago
And now… the rapid-fire side effects disclaimer. Long enough to make another pot of coffee or tea, and a snack.
InTraining 9 months ago
Suggest you wish for world peace, then the genie might be more accommodating..!.
Sïr Sårçåsm SHÅDDÜP 9 months ago
Can I wish for a better strip!!!
donut reply 9 months ago
After eons in a lamp, why are genies in such a hurry?
Ed The Red Premium Member 9 months ago
Can you wish that the genie be very bad at math?
sandpiper 9 months ago
The Genie is thinking that being stuck in the lamp ain’t such a bad deal after all.
BearsDown Premium Member 9 months ago
This isn’t the App Store…
Lady loves a joke 9 months ago
Three wishes, and a hundred questions ;)
Mountain Meg 9 months ago
Why? You won’t read them anyway. Can you wish to be a genie?
Alberta Oil Premium Member 9 months ago
Seems you just used up your 3 wishes with the questions about wishing.
PlatudimusAtom Premium Member 9 months ago
He’s just being Frank in his approach to this potential windfall.
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member 9 months ago
Has everyone heard about the two shipwrecked sailors stranded at sea in a small lifeboat? A brass lamp floated by and one sailor gabbed it and started to rob he tarnish off when suddenly a genie appeared and granted them one wish. After some thought the other sailor, very thirsty by now, blurted out, “I wish the seawater was beer”! Suddenly the whole sea turned to beer and the genie disappeared. “You idiot” the other sailor exclaimed, “Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat!”
Richard S Russell Premium Member 9 months ago
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be THREE wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s m’brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an APPRENTICE genie? Do you know how much work a highway all the way across the Pacific Ocean would involve? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
“So, would that be a 4-lane or 6-lane?”
Buckeye67 9 months ago
In this day and age, it’s always a good idea to make sure you are aware of all the terms and conditions.
bigplayray 9 months ago
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
NaturLvr 9 months ago
Today’s Peanuts/Charlie Brown. Wishy washy.
T... 9 months ago
As long as they ask they not be wishing…
C wolfe 9 months ago
I wish that all my wishes come true. I still have two more wishes.
Ron Bauerle 9 months ago
I can do it in one (though it’s a three-parter): to know and do nothing but the will of God and enjoy it.
John Schneider 9 months ago
The background image looks like Lower Antelope Canyon in Arizona! Visited there are few years ago.
falcon_370f 9 months ago
The Terms and Conditions: you get 3 and only 3 wishes, no substitutions exchanges or refunds. Your wish cannot be to kill anyone. Your wish can’t be to make someone fall in love with anyone else. Your wish cannot bring anyone back from the dead.