Free Range by Bill Whitehead for November 13, 2023

Try “stumping” on b"arbor" websites.

Dandruff shampoos?

Being a Pine, I don’t have that problem.

Tree with spectacles? Unbeleafable ain’t it.

This comic leaves much to be desired

Try “Tree Topper”.

Quit whining. It’s only seasonal for you guys. For some of us, Fall was permanent.

Try Leaf Club for Trees.

Leaf wigs?

Sorry. The closest I could find was “earwigs”.

These days bald is fashionable.

By this time in their lives, I would expect them to just accept the fact that this happens every year. And that they just have to take a break and things will grow back in the spring.

Nothing ‘springs’ to mind.

Rub this ointment on yourself every day. You should start seeing results about five months from now!

Leafwig would be a good name for a band.

Be patient; winter snows will come, “And periwig with wool the baldpate woods,” as John Dryden put it in The Art of Poetry (1683).

Look under “Faux Foliage”.

Sorry fellas, it’s in the genes…

Maybe try Branch transplants…..