Close to Home by John McPherson for November 27, 2023

To go sit on a shelf.

Is he good?

take my niece… PLEASE!!!!

A Santa suit would become something that happens after he is accused of being a heightist.

If the oompa loompas are ever displaced they know where to go.

Good to know. I wasn’t aware that Satan interviewed Elvis!

Sorry, sorry, sorry! “Santa” interviewed “elves”…!

Stupid Autocorrect!

Bleeb would qualify. Hi, Bleeb!

If I squat down or walk on my knees would I qualify?

Cute!

I think Santa has some insecurity about his height

Santa hires true elves to make his toys. Everything in the toy shop is designed for little elves. It’s just practical.

Anywhere gnome Alaska?

My temper used to be that short, does that count?

When elves grow too tall for the short shift, Santa gives them the short shrift.

I get so tired of discrimination of tall people! No NBA players need to apply for this job!

Almost….

Do you have to have pointed ears to qualify?

The height of workplace discrimination!

Ha! And no big promotions for you.

Qualified!

I might be eligible. What kind of benefits does it offer? Tall people – Bah – Humbug!!

Santa, your pipe is on fire.

Ha! You sleigh me!

Santa’s set a low bar to measure up to.

Must have a bad union to allow that discrimination.

When they leave the workshop, Santa announces:" Elves have left the building."

Blatant discrimination. Blatant. Call the EEOC.