Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 21, 2023

Better a kluster almond than a kluster…whatever.

Kluster’s Last Stand.

A day without almonds is like a day without sunshine.

Texarkana, Texas, and Texarkana, Arkansas, make up the Texarkana Metropolitan Statistical Unit. But I have not found evidence of their/its fame for almond clusters, nor for olde timey vaudevillian kluster-busters in pink and black costumes.

(I know this is pretty bland, lame Comment, but I couldn’t come up with a better….)

There’s a main road in Texarkana called State Line where Texas meets Arkansas along the middle of that road. If there’s an accident, I hear that whichever side of the road has the most debris gets jurisdiction (Texas or Arkansas) … talk about a kluster fugue …!

Candy’s Chocolate Shoppe was widely known for its stellar almond clusters. A whole box of them was called “galactic” clusters. They were universally popular.

…and I can see that becoming a fashion trend.

The liminal dingleberry IS a sight to behold, and here we have what is known as a Texarkana dung bettle wrastler.

This is blatant schwa abuse, at least after the first two appearances. Try pronouncing every “ə” as a de-emphasized “uh” and you’ll see what I mean.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you’re from Texarkana.

Make it a cashew cluster and I’m in.

…Jake’s annual Thanksgiving tradition was a real cluster FLICK…

…Karen…

…[not pictured]…usually caught the cluster when Jake threw it to her…

…but sometimes, not…

…but it was a big hit at Texarkana’s Thanksgiving parade…

…the little kids & dogs loved it…

…and Karen secretly loved seeing Jake in her tights …

…even in 6th grade when they were 1st picked to be the annual Almond Kluster throwers just before Santa Claus…

…they had barely knew each other back then…

…just neighborhood kids that rode the same bus…

…but, now, many years later…

…she feared this would be their last cluster performance…

…those %*^# wind bag politicians wanted to put an end to it…

…claiming Jake was in drag…

…but Karen knew it was only his circus style costume…

…the slik style skirt he only wore at the beginning of the act…

…ugh…

…concentrate, Karen…

…concentrate…

that’s a roadside attraction i’d love to visit.

TEXARKANA IS ANA KRAXET BACKWAAAAAAARRRRDD!!

The nut cluster remained mum, but the outfit cried out for practical and stylish boots.

“Dad, Teresa has been following the steers around again…”

Cluster around, gentle people, and I will tell you the tale of Whizzo the circus entertainer and his chocolate-covered nuts. (But we will call them “Klusters” in case little ones with nut allergies are about.)

Whizzo was very proud of his klusters and would whip them out every night—-whether customers wanted to see them or not. One day he was arrested for indecent kluster exposure.

Separated from Whizzo, his kluster was sent to an orphan home and is there still—-waiting for you to get over your stupid nut allergy and adopt him!

The Texarkana almond klusters will beat Stuckey’s Georgia pecan rolls any day!

Them thar nut Klustars are Krunchiar than burndt toastar. Dag nabbit, they broke me frontal lobe-ar!

is he wearing grandma pantys ?

Is that the same Kluster they’ve always used? What keeps it looking so chocolate-y and delicious?

Uh, consider these question rhetorical. I have less than no interest in the answer.

I’m getting quite a few posts lately with odd Cyrillic characters mixed in;

μ looks a little like u except it’s a consonant,

η looks a little like n except it’s a vowel.

Would a Russian bot make such errors?

A Chinese bot trying to make you think it’s a Russian bot?

Prove you’re not a bot by clicking pictures proving the influence of ancient aliens.

… and dark chocolate on top!! (You’ll note that there is no question mark on that!!)

Alternatively, the scub diver has found a fortune’s worth of whale ambergris.

Guys have strong fingers in Texarkana.

That’s a real Kluster… wait, I can’t say that on GoComics…

That outfit is definitely Kluster Fashion Forward.

Dad!

And here I was, just now, wondering where Bob Saget started his show-biz career.

And now I know.

“It was down in Louisiana just about a mile from Texarkana…”

…I think I met this guy once at the FU-Bar…

…he was practicing his snafu…

…am I the only one that thinks that Boyscout popcorn is both Fubar & snafu?…

…as good as Girlscout cookies are…

…Boyscout popcorn is overpriced and terrible tasting …

…if it isn’t rancid…

…or non popping…

…yes yes yes I know…it’s Scouts, now…

…not boyscouts anymore…

…of course, I’m sure boys in scouting are probably glad that girls are joining their circle…

…urban myths not included…

“Nothing more” quoth the frog …!

Fluster Kuck.

He had a great future in pro wrestling – until Andre the Giant knocked the nugget out of him…

wow thats remarkable!!

So, we had a 6.0 and a 6.7. Things should calm down a bit in December.

Day 2. We’re still fighting the Alien Almond Klusters, including the use of Native almond cluster extract as a possible vaccine….