Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for December 25, 2023

Where did she learn that from?

Gather up the garbage

Some assembly required.

Now you have to start being good for next Christmas.

For our family, the next is cutting into the german-style cheese kuchen we baked last evening. Perfect washed down with black coffee.

Merry Christmas.

Is that all there is?

News Flash

According to a spokesperson for homeland security, a border incident was reported as thwarted last night as a lone pilot of an unidentified aircraft attempted to enter American Airspace. The pilot was not a United States citizen, nor did he file a proper flight plan nor get clearance to enter the country. He did not have a valid passport or visa. Authorities declared him an illegal immigrant on the spot and deported him back to the North Pole. The North Pole, as we all know, is not part of Northern and Western Europe and therefore is a country identified with a body part associated with waste elimination.

Mom said those were the first words out of my mouth every Christmas for a dozen years. Seems I never grew up.

Wishing the best Christmas ever for each of you and a New Year that brings something good into your lives.

My family followed, in general, the same Christmas morning pattern you see in “A Christmas Story”. Gifts from Santa Claus first, breakfast, then opening wrapped presents from other people one by one while everyone watches. Then a huge meal.

Like the kid in this comic, I know some people for whom their entire gift opening took about two minutes. I’m sure it’s a fun two minutes, but then it’s all over at 7:02 AM.

Ungrateful little snot‼️

365 more days until next Christmas (Leap Year)

Next, we donate all your presents to the poor, except the underwear.