The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for December 30, 2023

Why was Job cold at night?

He had miserable comforters.

No sooner had I learned to pronounce Steve Jobs’ name when he up and died on me.

I have always found it fascinating that Elihu the Buzite is not numbered with the friends of Job, only appears in Chapter 32 without previous introduction, as if out of nowhere. He then chastises Job for 5 full chapters and, when God finally speaks, He makes no mention or comment on Elihu’s input, but lambastes the other three.

The real quote is “Take this, Job, and shovel it.”

The first attempt to build the Suez Canal was not successful.

“You dig, Man”?!

I ain’t working here no more.

Digging job eh. Me hears there vacancy at Tarzan jungle.

I almost spit my coffee all over my laptop. This is a truly hilarious “epic” comic!

When we’re grocery shopping, I get the cart and my wife tells me to shove it.

He’s about to hand Job the shovel. ಠ_ಠ

The bible is full of ridiculous stories.

Anyone else find it odd that many people take as gospel a person who 2,000+ years ago claims to have spoken with God and today believes a person who claims to have spoken to God should be institutionalized?

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what’s wrong.

“You fools”, he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, “the word was celebrate!”

Job? ’Don’t think he ever made that statement. If he did, his writers edited it out.

Well, it was David Alan Coe – he might have been in an altered state.

Funny, I thought for a second that said epic bible mosquitos.

wow, fractured quotes in spades…